My Suicidal Love

Chapter 6

6

“Never base your expectations from excitement.”

Thursday came and I could hardly wait for the evening to roll around.I was nearly bursting by the time my last patient left my office,I checked my watch 4:30.

One more hour until he would come around and one more hour until he would spill himself to me.

I didn’t know how to feel about that part.

I was excited about how he and I would become closer,about how I knew he trusted me by opening himself up to me.

Another part of me was scared,afraid to figure out this boys past.He and I were so different from each other and I don’t even want to think about our age.

But then again it was my job to listen to his life,to his problems.Just as he had said before.

“because its your job to listen.Even if i have to pay you,you’ll still listen.”

But I wouldn’t think about that now,I ignored the question that came up in the back of my head.

Does he really trust you? Or is this happening just because its what you do?

No,stop this.That’s not the reason.Thats not the....is it?

I shook myself,I needed to snap out of it.Don’t doubt him,he isn’t that kind of person.

How would you know?You hardly know the boy.

I hated it when my conscience pitted fights with me.

It always wrecked me up,but it did speak the truth.

I may know about his past,but I hardly know anything about him.His hobbies or the things he likes.For gods sake not even his favorite food.

I put my head in my hands,sighing in frustration.

Sure those things are trivial but I felt like they mattered.

I wanted to know everything,every little detail.

About my suicidal love.

My self doubt was killing me, and I hardly knew how to react,the last time anything like this had happened to me was at least 5 years ago.

I really was inexperienced.

Thats saying something for a 30 year old.

I was about to sigh again when the phone rang,I answered it and put my ear to the phone.

“Yes Julian?”

“Sorry sir,but there’s someone here for you.”

“Aki-Yasahiro?”

“Urm, no.It’s a blonde girl.She says she knows you.”

Only one girl showed up in my head, and it was...

“Udon Girl!?” I shouted in surprise.

I hung up the phone and opened the door and saw the beaming face of Udon Girl looking up at me.

“U..Udon Girl.” I muttered in shock.

“Its Kayaka remember?” She laughed in her sing song voice as she pushed past me into my office.

Julian looked at me strangely and mouthed.

“Security?”

I shook my head and mouthed back to her.

“I know her,its fine.”

Julian shot me a suspicious glance and went back to her desk.I took a deep breath and turned around into my office and saw Kayaka swinging in my black leather chair.