Behind His Fame

Confused And Lonely

After being released from the hospital

Kera Neverson

Currently I'm staying with my sister Jada's. Just because I can't go back home and I needed to looked after. Jada wanted me to stay with her so she knew I was safe too. De'rell, he still out there too the police haven't found him yet which only makes matters worse.

For the past week I haven't really been eating and everyones been worried about me. How would you feel if you lost your unborn child?

As I was sitting on the couch looking at the wall more so thinking, my mom came by me and sat to try and cheer me. I could tell she wanted to talk but was afraid I was still too heartbroken to express myself.

"Kera It's okay to cry, he hurt you a lot and you losing the baby is even more stressful but everything will work out."

I didn't say anything because my mind was somewhere else. My heart was broken and I was fresh out of tears, I just nodded and thought about my fucked up life.

Tremaine Neverson

My mama kind of being the last to find out about everything made her outraged and not coming from my mouth made her even more pissed. She was coming by today to talk to me and I was a little nervous about it. I knew when everything was where it was, I was somewhat lazy about handling the situation about being a dad and expecting a child.

I opened the door and there stood my mama and Forrest.

"Hey momma. Forrest." She didn't say anything as Forrest and I dapped. She walked past me like hell was going break loose. She was disappointed in me, hell  I was disappointed in me.

"Yall gon' talk?" Forrest asked awkwardly.

"I've raised you better than this. To get involved with not one but two women, both with children. One has a miscarriage and they other just comes by and shows you what a one night stand can lead to. Kera is probably really hurting, knowing that the man she thought she knew isn't. How could you let this happened? Huh Trey? Your a grown ass man to make your own decision but this has to be the dumbest yet. Making me look bad knowing I raised someone so cruel. And I thought I didn't."

"Look I'm sorry ma' I didn't know any of this would happened."

"Obviously you didn't care either, two women Trey? You lost your child. And finding out you've already had one. I know she's probably hurting more because you weren't man enough to protect her." She replied as she got up and left leaving Forrest and I.

"How, the hell I know that nigga was going to do that to her?"

"Watch your tone with me. And stop making you excuses."

"Whatever." I mumbeled lowly so she couldn't here me.

She walked out grabbing her purse.

"What were you thinking?" Forrest asked.

"I wasn't."

I let out a few tears from all of this. How was I supposed to deal. He gave me a brotherly hug heading out.

I punched a hole in my wall and cried to myself. I lost my child, my girlfriend, and myself. I feel like less of a man.

****

As I was in bed all day, my phone went off a bunch of times but I ignored it. I laid in my bed and tried to ease my mind from my pain. Why couldn't I do it. I couldn't protect her from the mentally disabled ass nigga. I couldn't, I didn't. I didn't stop her from leaving.

Kera Wendell

Being that it was two days later– after lunch with the family we decided to talk in the living room, which I didn't want to do at all. I wanted everything just to go away but it didn't this was my fucked up life.

"You know you have to still live you life, you can't just sit here forever. I love you but I know that if you just get back on you feet-"

"Look I know what this is about Jada. You want me to get back on my feet so you won't have to deal with me, well fine then. Have your personal space."

"She didn't mean it like that." My brother stated but it was too late for that. I had my things and was ready to leave.

"I know exactly what the fuck you meant! So find some other bullshit. I could have just went hotel, but I had to stay here. I don't need any fucking body, so leave me the hell alone. I lost my child while all of you are trying to force me out of here well so be it then."

***

I say on the bed at one of my favorite hotels. I felt helpless but at least I'm safe now– there was nothing more to do but sit here and try to find myself.

As I let the steamy hot water relax from the tub hard tears came down my cheeks and I couldn't greave over that fact my child was gone.