Decimation (Ianthony Apocalypse AU)

day fifty-one

chompers seen: probably about seven hundred

chompers killed: 1

near-death experiences: 6

human deaths witnessed: 4

friends left behind: 6

camps infiltrated: 1

dead friends: 2

Everyone at the camp was way too friendly.

I still wasn't quite sure how they'd managed to accumulate all the food, tents, and equipment they had, but I honestly didn't care enough to ask. And I should have been grateful for all the company, shelter, and nourishment, including the stream located walking distance from the field where I could bathe whenever I wanted, but I hated it. I wanted to leave and make it to Sacramento. But I knew nobody else did. The rest of the group seemed content with staying for a while.

And I had no idea about Anthony. I hadn't even seen him since the last time I witnessed him sucking face with Kat. And it was killing me. But I knew he was happy. Or at least it looked like it.

I'd been on my own since we'd been there. It was so strange. For just about my whole life, I've done practically everything with Anthony, and now he wanted nothing to do with me. I had forgotten what it was like to do almost everything alone.

I spent most of the time in the tent, just because I was too depressed to leave. I hadn't eaten much, but if it was affecting me at all, I couldn't tell yet.

At dinner, after I was forced out into the glow of the almost-set sun, I sat next to Jonah and Jenna, staring into a can of green beans.

"You talked to him yet?" Jenna asked me quietly, glancing over at Anthony.

My gaze fell on him. He sat across the fire, Kat lying across his lap. He was talking to some other guy, and laughing. He looked genuinely happy. Without me.

I shook my head, looking back down.

"You really-"

"He hasn't been alone at all," I snapped, instantly regretting my tone. "She's glued to his side every fucking second."

"What even happened between you two, anyway?" Jonah asked, leaning in. "You didn't like, break up, right?"

"No. I mean, I don't think so. I don't even know anymore." I leaned my head in my hands. "It's just a long story."

"Well, whatever it is, he's staring at you right now, so he's obviously just trying to make you jealous."

I looked up, and found my eyes instantly locking with his. He stared hard at me, his eyes trying to communicate a million different messages at once. He looked away when Kat said something, and he laughed, going back to blatantly ignoring me.

"I'm just gonna go for a walk," I announced, standing up.

"It's almost dark-"

"I'll be back in just a minute," I protested, walking straight for the edge of the woods. I felt people staring at me as I stormed past them. Men, women, even a few children.

I gripped my knife tight in my hand, kind of hoping a chomper would approach me. I wanted to kill something. To get my anger out. And that's when I knew I really was going mad. Because just a week and a half ago, I was terrified to kill one of the monsters, and now I craved it. The satisfaction of winning a battle.

I walked all the way to the stream, sitting next to it. I was silently hoping Anthony would follow me out here and come talk. The look in his eyes almost made me believe he would. But of course he wouldn't. He had her now. I didn't matter.