In An Instant

Chapter 8: Feelings

As I pulled up into Bri's driveway, I almost turned around and went back home. It had been a week since the awkward group text that announced to everyone that I liked Kaden as more than a brother, and I hadn't seen him since then. I'd already made up my mind that I was just going to act like it didn't even happen and hoped that I could follow through once I saw him, if he was even here. He'd gone to get his bionic arm today, so I wasn't sure if they were back yet. I kind of hoped they weren't.

My phone rang as I got out of my car, and when I saw who it was, I answered it, waiting before I went inside. "Hey, Trey."

"Hey. Where are you at?"

I walked around my car, aimlessly walking toward their back yard. "I'm at Bri's."

"Oh."

"What's up?" I asked, even though I knew exactly what was up.

"I just hadn't talked to you much since... since I left that message. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. I mean, I still like you and I want us to... I want us to at least still be friends, maybe more later on, when things slow down." I walked to a small flower garden near the edge of their pool and sat down, picking at one of the flowers. "Maybe this summer we could try again. It's just—"

"I know, Trey."

"I don't want you mad. I still want... I want you, Em. I don't want this to be the end of us. I still want to go out with you, maybe hang out with Dawson and Bri sometime. I just feel like you may want something else."

I took a deep breath, not really knowing what to say. "I want us to be friends, too, but it's just too hard for me to be there for you one-hundred percent right now."

It was quiet for a minute before he said, "Yeah, I know." Then he laughed. "But if you ever get lonely or anything, you've got my number. Don't hesitate to call me."

"I won't."

"And I'll probably still stop by your store and stalk you some, too."

"Oh, is that what you were doing? I thought you were just reading."

"I was, but I like to have a beautiful view while I read."

I laughed. "Oh, you're good, Mr. Lawson."

"Yeah, maybe I can show you just how good next summer."

"A summer fling?"

"Maybe. Maybe more."

While we had dated, his personality had gone from a blade of grass to a blossoming weed—a beautiful intrusion—threatening to wrap around me and not let go. "We'll see."

"Okay, Em... I guess I'll let you go."

Yes, let me go. "Alright. I'll see you at school tomorrow?"

"Yeah. See ya."

I hung up and sat my phone down in the grass beside me, still picking at the colorful petals that were blowing back and forth at my feet. If Trey was a weed, Kaden was a flower. Even when you pick a few petals off, it's still beautiful, drawing your eyes to the perfection that's still there, not the petals that aren't.

"What are you doing?"

I jumped, thinking I was out here alone. "Oh, I... um... I was talking on the phone." I stood up and walked toward Kaden, who must've been watching me.

"I could see that, but why are you sitting in our yard, picking at Mom's flowers?"

I sat down on the concrete beside him. "Because they're beautiful. I started to pick a few and bring them in and put them in a vase, but—" I looked up into his eyes, wishing he saw me the same way I saw him "—they always die." I shrugged. "So, I guess I'll just leave them out here and admire them from afar."