My monster of a mate

Im so Board

Yup, its official. I'm so bored.

I swear I'm going stir crazy if I keep sitting here staring blankly at this wall, just playing with my lip ring.

See the trick to keeping your sanity in prison is to not be board. To keep your mind occupied for as long as your can, with out that general occupation within your mind, the mental state starts to deteriorate. Or at least that's what one science article I read said. 

So I have attempted to stay occupied. First it was counting the security cameras , two in the corners of my cell and the other two are in the hallway of this underground prison. Everything is a slate grey of concrete and the lights are a constant hideous florescent white, the type of if you stare at them for too long you get a major headache. the cell itself is as dull a concrete bed on one wall, next to the most pathetic excuse of a restroom, a stainless steal toilet with a sink built in on top, I was given all basic essential such as; toilet paper, toothpaste, toothbrush,simple shirt and pants, comb, along with a thin foam mat with built in pillow for my concrete slab. 

This was like I'm in a hotel or something, two meals a day threw a metal slot by the door. 

I know how bad prison cells for rogues got a lot worse, one time I tried to run away when I was 10 and one of the border guards caught me and threw me in a cell. My stench was revolting and I was so malnourished that he thought I was a rouge. I can still see my alphas face when he saw me, disgust flew threw my eyes as well as disappointment.

The Luna just happened to be there with him and her eyes held horror within them. She knew what was going to happen to me for trying to escape. I was then henceforth sentenced cheap 6 months down in the cells. If I thought standard housework was bad, the cells are where the rouges are broken and beaten either until they die or they give up crucial information.

For the next six months, Hell seemed a mere and distant Paradise.

So now I'm just sitting here, staring at the wall. All that I can think about is my mate.

One part of me hates him with a burning passion, the other one(a very small part of me) is understanding of the 'actions' he took against me.

"Ugh." Is all I can growl out.

Prim is giving me the silent treatment for running from our mate, as well as not falling back into his arms. She's mad at me for giving that bastard a piece of my mind, and judging by how he enjoyed hitting me there would be no way I would ever fall back into that monsters arms.

That bastard deserved worse.

While running my hands threw the grime and knotted hair that topped my head, a certain memory hit me with deja vu  

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(Flash back, 3 weeks ago.)

I'm hitting an all time low.

I couldn't think of a time I had been more frustrated at myself.

My second week here I was beginning to walk around and meet with pack members. Nothing wrong with that right, WRONG!

I've been fearful of everyone, it feels like i can't trust anyone, no matter how friendly they might seem to be. The survival instincts have kicked in once i left my old pack. In mine and Prims mind everyone is the enemy. The nightmares have never left , they have only gotten worse. The fear of my mate finding me and dragging me back to his compound  occupy most of my unconsciousness thoughts. While I was awake the fear of  thinking my next beating was right around the corner, No one is safe and no one can be trusted.