Loving Loki

Fire Meet Ice

Loki disappeared. His image disintegrated into nothingness. I stood there, chest heaving. I felt something tickle the back of my neck. I spun around. My eyes were greeted by a pair of cold green emerald jewels. They sparkled like a snake's but held pools of mystery. I stared into them.

We were inches apart. His eyes did not leave mine. His raven hair was tangled and messy. His clothes were slightly wrinkled. His slender fingers gently caressed my cheek. I allowed my hand to do the same.

His other hand found mine, intertwining the two. He dropped the hand on my cheek and I followed. He held our intertwined fingers between us. He uncurled his hand and mine did the same, until our palms were against each other. His fingers were longer then mine, but I barely noticed.

His finger tips slowly began to glow blue, spreading up his arm and neck until his face was blue. I allowed my hand to glow orange. The fire seemed to cancel the ice. As though, we were magnets. I felt the warmth from my hand travel up my arm, neck, and face. My skin turned a burnt orange. My tangled hair lifted off my neck, only to drop down once again on my shoulders, now a intense black color. My dress became a grey  and when I moved, ashes flurried around me.

I had never felt this way before. My powers had never been this intense. I stopped fighting it. I let it take control. My veins turned black contrasting sharply with my orange skin. Loki was watching my transformation with calm. Something fell on my face. I glanced up. Ashes fell from above my head. Snow swirled above Loki.

He pulled his hand away. My skin began to change back to normal. My dress remained and although my hair turned back to brown, black highlights streaked my gentle waves.

" I was wrong." Loki's voice snapped me out of my awe of my transformation.

I gently tilted my head. I was confused.

" We are more alike then I had thought." He said. Loki turned his back and walked several steps from me. His feet were planted slightly apart, his shoulders tense.

I came forward and stood directly behind him.

" I thought you left." I said.

" I thought you had died." He replied.

" Why? Why did you come back? You were free. You could have left. Yet, you are here."

" My plan failed. I needed it to be executed perfectly for it to work. It didn't as you well know. I will wait. Patience is key in planning."

" Will I once again be part of your plans?" I asked, looking down.

" No." He replied after a short pause.

" I-I have to wonder. Was all of the time we spent together an act? Was there ever a moment that you discovered you weren't trying anymore?" I asked, a tear trickling down my cheek. Even thinking of it, hurt deeply. I was surprised. Tears. I didn't think I had any left.

" I loved once. Her name was Sygin. She was beautiful. But in the end, I only frightened her away. You see my dear, I am a nightmare. I may look like a dream, but once you take a second look, you find how black my soul truly is. You, Lola. You. You made the black seem so far. As though it had been part of another time. Another person. And it frightened me. Love is weakness. A parasite that destroys both body, soul, and mind. But. When I looked at you. I wished to be weak, even just for a moment, I longed to feel what it was to be weakened by love." He reached a hand up and gently massaged the bridge of his nose.

" In the beginning, it was easy to pretend. But as time went on, I found it harder to convince myself that I was pretending.  When the time came to put my plan into action, I almost didn't. The way you seemed to want to heal my pain. The way you cared. I wish I could tell you that I acted the whole time. I wish I could tell you that everything was a trick. But you seem to be able to do something no one else has been able to. You seem to halt the lies before they even escape my lips. And the more I resist, the more I find myself thinking of things could have been. I do not beg your forgiveness, for it would do you no good. I wish I could heal your wound, but it is too deep. I wish I could make you forget what I have done, but I will not steal that from you. But believe me when I say with all honesty, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I know I don't deserve you, but I wish that, in another time or place, I had been a different man."  He finished.

I was speechless. I had not expected this. I had not expected anything, least of all an apology. A tear trickled down my cheek. He had made mistakes, too numerous to count. He had hurt me and many more people. But the funny thing about love is that sometimes a person changes so much, that their past no longer defines them. I will not lie, I still doubted his words. He had tricked his way into my heart with his brokenness, but I couldn't help thinking that maybe he deserved a second chance. After all, he did not despise me for being the daughter of the man who had murdered his mother.

I walked closer until my face was inches from his shoulder. I gently wrapped my arms around his abdomen, pulling myself closer to him. I pressed my face into the back of his shirt, breathing the lovely scent that surrounded him. He slid his hands from my elbows to my fingers, clutching them tightly. He leaned into me, as though he was too weak to stand anymore.

After standing for several minutes, Loki sighed. He gently removed my hands from his waist and turned around. He gently tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear. He smiled gently, sadly. Then he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close to him. I was surprised, but returned the hug. He buried his face in the crook of my neck.

Then, he began to cry. His body shook with sobs and my dress top was soon wet from his tears. He leaned against me and I held him, supporting him. He pulled me closer and squeezed me gently. I gently stroked his hair as he sobbed helplessly, his cries echoing off the walls. I held him. And it was in that moment that I knew, this was exactly where I belonged.