Accept Me (kinda slow updates)

Chapter 11

I'm not sure why this chapter disappeared before but I just take it as it wasn't good enough yet so here you go.
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Sarah's POV

I haven't seen Matthew since the day at the diner and that was two days ago, but being honest I appreciated the distance because I'm confused. Why would he lower his standards for a person like me, I'm just a poor girl from Albany trying to make it the right way. And if I'm not confused enough every thing that was brought the other day is sitting on my floor still in their bags just staring at me. As much as I appreciated him buying a completely new wardrobe I couldn't accept any of it, I just wasn't raised that way; I would just feel like I would have to pay him back and I know he wouldn't accept any of the money, plus just looking at some of these price tags I would be paying him back for life.

Right now Matthew's mom was with Ciara in the living room while I was in the kitchen cooking dinner. Since his mom is a diabetic I made her a chicken salad with soup while I made the house chili, rice, and corn bread. I placed everything on the table after putting Matthew's plate in the microwave. After praying we started eating and his mom sparked up a conversation. "So how has my son been treating you." "Fine I haven't really had any problems." Besides that fight but I decided to leave that part out. "I was thinking since his birthday is coming up in a couple days I would throw him a party of course I would need some help." "Sure what kind of party were you thinking of?" "An all white party, family and close friends, you know something intimate." "Okay let me-" I stopped talking when front door opened and closed and Matthew walked in with a black eye and what looked like a sprained hand. His mom all but ran over to him and started inspecting going crazy just seeing her son beat.

After about 20 minutes of me trying to convince his mom that he would be okay she gave everyone a kiss before leaving. Ciara finished her food so I took her upstairs and gave her a quick bath before tucking her into bed. When I went back downstairs Matthew was laying on the couch with some ice on his hand. I grabbed my first-aid kit from the bathroom and sat on the coffee table in front of him. "Ma I'm fine you don't have to do all of that." I smirked before grabbing his hand and watching him flinch. "Yeah you're fine." He just sat back while I got to work disinfecting and wrapping his hand before putting the ice back on it; I went to get up but he grabbed my arm and sat me back down. He lifted his shirt and just above his left hip he had a gunshot wound. "Can you close this up?" My mind shut down for a second before I got up and grabbed a bottle of Hennessey handing it to him before putting on some gloves. "What's this for?" "For you. Drink it, you gonna need it. Do you have a pocket knife?" He reached in his pocket and grabbed it handing it to me. "You ready?" He chugged a quarter of the bottle before nodding. I sterilized the knife before sticking it into the gunshot trying to find the bullet. When I did find it I scooped it out and poured some alcohol on the wound. I grabbed a needle and some thread and got to work closing up the wound before cleaning it again with alcohol. "Thank you shawty I appreciate you taking care of me." "Ummm you're welcome."

I started to walk away but he grabbed me causing the first aid kit to fall from my hands and I ended up sitting on his lap. "I umm I'm so-sorry." He sat up so his chest was pressed against my back and his lips were by my ear. "Don't be." Feeling his lips brush against my neck made my skin break out in goosebumps. He turned us over so I was laying on the couch and he was hovering over me while holding his weight. I opened my mouth to say something but he just leaned down and silenced me with a kiss that took my breath away. Do you understand my confusion now? I don't know what to make of this but he is a really good kisser. I felt his hand reach under my shirt and I froze before stopping completely. "What's wrong?" "No-nothing." He sighed and sat up pulling back his hand. "You still on this." "My perception of myself isn't going to change just becuase you give me a couple kisses and tell me I'm pretty." "Like I told you before nothing is wrong with you but if you don't like what you see change it." He placed a kiss on my cheek before getting up while pulling me up with him. "I look like shit so ima go take a shower and go to sleep. I'll probably see you tomorrow morning. Good night ma." He kissed my lips again before going up the stairs.

I sat downstairs thinking over what he said. I'm always downing myself about my weight but I've never done anything about it. I got up and went to my room going straight for the bathroom. I turned on the light and stripped out of my clothes, took a deep breath, and really looked at myself. Out of habit I started to pick out everything wrong, my stomach was a little too big, my thighs were to big, my butt wasn't toned, etc, then I looked deeper. I looked so much like my mother that it was crazy. My eyes, hair, nose, and lips were all her making me smile. If she was alive she would sit me down, just like when I was little, and tell I'm beautiful until I fell asleep on her lack. I felt a chill run through me and I smiled wiping away my tears. "I love you too mommy so much." I felt the chill again before it went away leaving me alone again. I took another look at myself before turning on the water and got into the shower letting the water just run for a little while. After a couple minutes I grabbed my wash cloth and soap, letting the smell of shea butter and cocoa relax me while I lathered up. Once done rinsing off, I cut the water and got out wrapping myself in a towel.

I went into my room and dried off before putting on some lotion and a pair of underwear. Throwing on an oversized t-shirt I opened my door and walked across the hall to Ciara's room. She was curled up on her side fast asleep I'm sure dreaming up the sweetest things possible. I stepped in and gave her a kiss on the cheek before walking back out and shutting her door. I was going back to my room but something caught my eye. When I turned I felt a heat run all through me as I watched Matthew wrapped in a towel. I know I shouldn't be watching him and I promise I wanted to look away but my mind wasn't in sync with my body at the moment. It was when he dropped his towel I looked away but not before getting an eye full. I took a deep breath and sped back to my room closing my door. I took slow deep breaths to calm myself down knowing what I just did was wrong, but Lord that man is FINE!! It was like my mind was doing an instant replay but in slow motion. Even with a black eye he was still so attractive with his hazel eyes and those full pink lips. Then my mind started to trail lower going to that body. I didn't think it was possible that one person could be so fine but he was the living proof of it. His abs were on full display, the mere perfection of a six pack, and his arms looked so toned and cut I couldn't help but imagine them around me keeping me safe and warm. But my mind went to the grand finale of when his towel dropped and---. I jumped and looked to my door to see Matthew walk in. "I ain't mean to interrupt you but could you bandage me up again." "Su-sure." He came in and sat on my bed while I went into my bathroom and grabbed my first aid kit again.

I started with his hand because it was the easiest part but my hands kept trembling making me have to start over three times. When it was finally wrapped he lifted his shirt showing that I just happened to see not to long ago. I broke out of my trance and grabbed some ointment and rubbed it around the stitched up gunshot wound before placing the padding over it. After putting some surgical tape around it I was done but my nerves were on 10 just being that close and touching him. When I looked up his shirt was off completely off making my heart rate skyrocket. He leaned over me making me lie back while he hovered over me back into the position I was starting to become familiar with when it came to him. He leaned down and left slow open mouthed kisses all over my neck sending my poor little heart into over drive. He kissed higher until he was right under my ear making my breathing eratic. "I saw you watching me tonight." He pulled back and was smiling while I tried to find words to explain what I did. "I'm so sorry I didn't-" He shook his head and shut me up taking possession of my lips turning whatever I was going to say into a moan. His hands went to my hips and pulled me closer to him so I was pressed against his umm....friend. Again losing myself I reached up and held the back of his neck not wanting this to end no time soon. His tongue explored my mouth making me moan again and arch into him. He pulled back and went to my neck driving me crazy as he sucked and nipped.

I was on a high when he pulled away and hovered over me smirking. "Ima leave you with that for tonight " He started to get up but I grabbed his hand pulling him back to me. "What if I don't want you to go?" I know I surprised myself with that one but it was something about him that brought out that side of me. "You really know how to test my will power but nah trust me you not ready. Good night ma" He kissed me again before getting up and grabbing his shirt smirking. When the door shut behind him I felt not all over getting annoyed. It took two damn cold showers before I was okay but my mind was on Matthew all night making me fall asleep dreaming about him and only him.