In Between Times (Complete Novel, Mastered May 12th, 2022)

CHAPTER SIXTEEN // PT. 1

— Giving in

Shame On You – D Smoke ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

AMELIA:

I never felt so protected after a night terror. After experiencing the exact same night terror, I went through the two times before, I realize that it's a message.

Waking up in Parrish's arms... It caused me to not just think but know. He isn't here to play games with my heart. He's here to help keep it together — to stop it from falling to bits and pieces.

My mother always called me the "rock on stilts" of the family. But I am a wreck mid-happening. My balance is nonexistent. I whispered this theory of myself to Parrish the day I decided to ignore the possibilities. I just decided to give in.

My mother fell in love with a man that she ended up losing. I don't know how she lost him. I don't know who this mysterious man is, but he is who my mother needs. She would stoop to suicide when it came to loneliness. Without this mysterious man she loves, she no longer felt the need to live.

I don't know if she tried to kill herself because she thought we left her, or because she thought the love of her life left her.

I know nothing about this mysterious man. Why would he leave my mother? Why didn't my mother tell me about this man that she loved so deeply? The number of questions in my mind — it's an endless list.

Parrish caught me with my guard down. I clung to him. I told him everything. Possibilities aside, I wasn't thinking about what could happen after the fact of him knowing. I felt it was now his business to know. I welcomed him to know.

I told him about Lauren, and how she disappeared when we lived in California. I told him where Lauren is now, and why she's there.

I told him about the move, and what we all suffered through emotionally, and financially. I told him how it seemed I got hit the hardest, and how my mother's absence continued to linger in my mind for a while.

I told him about Walter Hendrix, who was my first real, genuine friend in Vegas. I told him how Callie helped me cope with his death. I told him how I helped Jane cope with Walter's death, too. I told him Jane loved Walter, but in a completely different way than I did. He seemed to know that already. I told him Walter's death hit Jane the hardest, and he seemed to know that, too.

I also told him about the strong friendship I have with Callie and Lina, apart from the gambling lifestyle. I told him we were a pact, but I didn't elaborate on the name. He didn't ask what it meant, and I was glad he didn't, because I wasn't ready to say it.

Tears run down my face the entire time as I sit on his lap with my head tucked under his chin — his arms wrapped securely around me. He doesn't talk much as I pour my heart out. He's willing to listen. The fact causes more tears to well up inside me.

Parrish might be who I need, what my soul is craving. People act like they don't need people, but we do need people. Callie helped me the last time I suffered through dreadful nightmares. She was my go-to when I felt like venting. Now I want to let Parrish Livingston in my life. More than anything. This could be the best decision I could ever make, or the worst.

"I'm sorry," I tell him, as I wipe my wet face with my hands. The skin there along my cheeks is going to be raw if I keep it up. "I shouldn't be spilling all of this in front of you," I whisper, as I lean my back further against his chest. My hands softly clutch the arm he has wrapped around me as he tilts my face up with his other hand.

"Don't be sorry, Amelia," he sighs. "You have me," he whispers, almost inaudibly. "I am here for you. Even if a day comes where you no longer want me around, I'll still be here. The day you are alone will be the end for me," he speaks steadily as his eyes stay connected with mine.