Vampire Academy: Last Sacrifice (Dimitri's POV)

Chapter 29

I turned to Lissa, watching as her slender form shook with overflowing tears, and scowled. She turned towards me, her face marred with wet streaks, searching for my comfort. I couldn't find any to give her. Ice-cold, I stared her down.

"Dimitri?" she asked tentatively. "What are we going to do?"

"Why the hell are you asking me?" I retorted through gritted teeth. I watched her visibly flinch at my harsh tone, eyes wide. She'd never seen me like this before. Nobody had seen me quite like this before, except maybe my mother. This was different from a Strigoi's rage. This was fuelled by emotion, this was a desperate grasp for my sanity as it flew out of my reach.

"I-I thought you might have a p-plan..." her voice trailed away.

"No, Vasilisa, I don't have a plan. Do you think I would make a plan? 'Oh, by the way, if Rose dies, this is what we're going to do, are you okay with that?' You think I know anymore about this than you do?"

"Well, you're usually so...calm and collected. I thought you might know what to do."

"Well, I don't. I have no idea. She's dead. She's the only one that knew what she wanted. She's the only one that knew any of it and she's dead," I spat, my voice wobbling as I narrowly avoided descending into the abyss. "Why didn't you do anything?" I felt my voice break, my eyes refilling themselves with saltwater.

"I...I-" She looked up at me with helpless jade eyes and I stared her down with my own.

"What use is your magic if you can't use it when you need to? You could've saved her, Lissa! You could've brought her back! Why didn't you do anything?" My arms flew out without my consent, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her.

"Dimitri, I'm sorry, but I just couldn't do it," she explained solemnly, tears audible in her voice.

"Well, why not? Why not?"

"Dimitri, stop, look, this hurts me too. I'm her best friend, and I'm sorry I couldn't save her but you can't just-Dimitri, stop, you're hurting me. Let go!"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU DO ANYTHING?" I roared, gripping her shoulders until my fingers left bruises through her dress. "WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE HER? What use are you Moroi when your magical powers can't do anything, when they only work when you're stable? What do you do? What is the purpose of you? Why are we so busy protecting you, why do we die for you? What is the point?"

I felt strong hands grab my shoulders but, instead of resisting them, allowed them to drag me away, watching as Lissa's wide-eyed form stared at me from beside Rose's body. I was carried through the crowds, having suddenly lost the ability to move for myself, and let them lead me out of the ornate hall.

As soon as I reached fresh air, my brain kicked into gear and allowed me to function again. I assured my bodyguards that I could walk for myself, but they still kept a strong hold on my arms. They walked me back to the jail cell and threw me in, locking the door behind me. I listened as their footsteps died away, heard the slamming of the front door, and then collapsed onto the floor.

I have no idea how long I was lying there. I pressed my face into the cool concrete, pounding the floor and screaming until my throat was hoarse. Roza, my Roza. It was all my fault. If I'd have been quicker on the mark, not so distracted by Tasha's betrayal, it would've been me in her place. Rose would be alive, Rose would be free, Rose would grow up and protect Lissa, just as she had always done.

But she wouldn't. Because she was dead.

I dragged myself to the corner of the cell where I curled up, hugging my knees to my chest and feeling sorry for myself. I had never imagined it would happen like this. We were supposed to go down together; it was supposed to be noble. We promised we'd go down in a fight. She came to save me from being a Strigoi, now it was my turn to save her. She'd survived so much and what had she been taken out by? A deranged Moroi with a gun. I could've laughed. But I didn't.