Colour My Life With The Chaos Of Trouble- Ianthony

ºColour My Life.-6º

It starts raining soon, just a few droplets but the sky announces that another storm is coming ahead, The day turned sad and grey, just like Ian is feeling right now. It won't matter if Anthony tries to understand, he might get close enough but he really won't understand.

And that makes him sad. Why does it have to be so awfully hard to be with him? 

There comes a time where he needs to hide and forget his actual feelings to not to feel as lonely. 

Anthony doesn't know what to say, he's thinking hard to say something nice, but it doesn't really work, so he says the first thing that pops into his head.

"You don't have to be lonely, you know. Talk to people, you seem great..."

As soon as Ian hears that, he goes crazy, he rolls his eyes and feels anger rising. How come people is like that? Of course, but talking and making friends is hard for some people, people who want REAL friends, not fake ones. And what if he likes to be sad? Or anything? He's not asking Anthony for anything really. How is he giving him advice like that? 

So he stands up and starts to leave without saying another word. And soon Anthony realizes that Ian is leaving and jogs to catch him up.

"Hey, the hell?"

"I don't want to be with you anymore."

"I didn't say anything bad." Anthony protests back.

"You don't understand, people like you never do." 

There's the lightning and then the thunder. The rain starts to pour so much harder and faster, soaking the both of them from head to toe.

"I don't understand you! You are so fucking hard!" Anthony yells through the pouring rain.

"I AM NOT ASKING YOU FOR ANYTHING" Ian feels angry. And sad. 

Anthony groans at that and buries his face on his hands, and then he grabs his hair in desperation.

"You- oh, fuck. You are confusing, first you make me think you want to be with me, and then you freaking push me away. And then we're having this conversation! Would you make up your fucking mind?!! I asked around about you, and you're not that special, so why do you refuse to open up to me? Am I not of your high standard or what the fuck?"

That makes Ian heartbroken, he gets butthurt so easily, and he honestly tries not to be that way, but that is just who he is. If he's honest, he hates talking to people because he doesn't want to deal with this.

He turns to look at Anthony in the eye, with that look that the instant Anthony sees him, he swears he doesn't want to see it ever again. It's full of pain and sadness.

"I am. Yes, I actually am. But I know  who I am and I am not changing so that people like you or anyone else likes me. I get sad way to much and I seriously need to quit smoking, but I don't turn to you or other people because they don't care and I don't either,' Ian actually starts crying halfway his statement, so what? It's a little hard to speak in between tears, but he manages in the middle of the storm.

"I am not asking you for a thing. I know, of course i know what people says about me, AAAND IF YOU MUST KNOW, I had the hardest year last year. I had so many fucking friends, and I was the wildest around parties. But when things got bad NO ONE but Andy stuck around. I've got scars, and I don't need you or anyone else. So leave me alone. I don'-"

Ian actually needs to sob before continuing.

"I don't need advice from you. I am being realistic about life. And I don't give a damn about you assholes as long as I graduate and leave."