Afterlife: Redemption

50

LANE

The pain was gone. That was the only thing I could say. The only thing that actually was noticeable and worthy of comment. The pain was gone.

In its place was numbness. Complete nothing. The felt the occasional sting to my heart, a little blast of ache that would catch me off guard at the most random times. But other than that, my body felt nothing.

I had been laying in my bed for the last three days. Since Niall appeared at my door, taking Harrys bag, I had done nothing. That was Saturday. It was now Tuesday. I had immediately come back in to my room, and collapsed on my bed. The only time I peeled myself from its comforts was to use the bathroom, and even that was rare, since I hardly drank, and barely ate.

When Mia returned home Sunday night, finding me in my state, she immediately freaked out.

"Have you been like this all weekend?" she asked, sitting on the edge of my bed. "Lane, for Christ sake, what is going on?"

"Nothing," I croaked, unable to respond further. My throat was dry and hoarse, my body unable to react to anything. I was nothing.

"Don't fucking lie to me," she huffed. "You've been like a damn zombie since Thursday."

I said nothing.

"Fine," she said firmly. "Im going to call Harry. He obviously knows."

That got my attention.

"Mia, don't!" I yelled, sitting up quickly in my bed, reaching for her hand as she moved for her phone in her pocket.

"Then tell me what's wrong!"

"I cant!"

"Why not?"

"Because...."

And I cried. Even though I thought I had nothing left in me, no emotion, no feeling left to convey, it would seem I was wrong.

Immediately, I started to sob, falling back to my bed and covering my face with my hands. I couldn't do this anymore. I couldn't deal with this feeling anymore.

"Lane," Mia sighed, immediately feeling bad for pushing me. I felt the bed shift, as she laid down beside me. Her hand reached out, pushing my matted hair back from my face.

She was silent as I cried, patiently waiting for me to calm. It took longer than it should have, since I had already cried everything out more than once in the last few days. How could I still be this emotional. How did I still have enough tears?

When I calmed, I turned to look at her. To look at the friend who stood by me all these years. The person I told everything to.

I was scared to tell her. I was scared to admit what I had learned. That my family, my brother, had caused all this pain. That he was a murderer. That he had left Harrys family to die on the side of a lonely road.

But I couldn't hold it in anymore. I needed someone to talk to. Someone to help me figure out how to fix what had happened. I knew I couldn't bring his parents back. Nothing could. But I couldn't lose him. I couldn't let this destroy us, as well as him.

So I told her. I told her everything he had told me, of that night, his nightmares, what he knew. Then I told her about Adam. His reaction to Harry at my parents the weekend before, and how he had locked himself away again. That when I confronted him, he finally confessed. Five years of silence, let loose on me in minutes.

She was quiet the whole time, something that was a rarity for her. Usually she was full of comment, suggestion and sarcasm. But this time, she was silent, listening to everything I told her without a word. Her only reactions were her facial expressions, changing from pain, to shock to confusion.