one more troubled soul » petekey

Four

"We are all in the gutter,
but some of us
are looking at the stars."
- Oscar Wilde

Pete made an effort to look at the stars as much as he could. The nighttime sky taught him so many things. It taught him truly how small he was, and that in a universe with black holes, exploding supernovas and more stars than the human mind could fathom, his mistakes were nothing. His choices were nothing. He was absolutely nothing. How wonderful it was to be so.

It taught him that no one was ever truly alone, even if they wanted to be. Everyone lived beneath the same sky and looked up at the same moon, every night. It was terrifying and incredible all at once, and Pete was okay with that.

And so only a mere five minutes after speeding away from the rest stop, Pete pulled the car over and grabbed his coffee, still hot, and a notebook and crawled on to the roof of his truck. He pulled his knees to his chest and settled his chin on one knee, glancing up at the sky with his dark eyes and taking a deep breath. The air felt fresh and sweet, and it smelled like the forest he could see in the distance. The night was beautiful, clear after the thunderstorm. Pete loved how that all worked. Such a huge storm, beautiful in its own twisted way, leaving behind something beautiful in every way. Pete thought it would be fair to enjoy every moment the universe provided, as long as he didn't have to get rained on. So admiring the stars, that was something he could deal with. It was something he could enjoy completely.

He had always done it alone, however. His parents were always too exhausted or already asleep to crawl with him on the roof, as young as ten years old. His siblings didn't see the appeal, and would turn back to their own affairs. Sometimes the family dog would join him, little claws skidding on the balcony and his whines sounding as he watched Pete climb carefully up sloped roof. More than once, Pete lost his footing and slid slightly down, scraping his knees and his face. But he would hold his little hands over his bloody knees until the sun would begin to rise or the clouds would begin to form. And then he'd carefully make his way down and scratch behind his dog's ears and sneak back into the house. The first couple times he was caught sliding back in, his parents wearily holding coffee mugs, they yelled at him. Yelled at him for crawling on to the roof, taking the dog, and not going to bed. But the more he persisted, the less they cared. His mom would sometimes buy packs of Bandaids and leave them on his nightstand.

But other than his dog, who was long gone now, Pete had never stargazed with anyone else. But he lifted his chin from his knee as he heard a door open and slam beneath him. "Pete?" a groggy voice whispered. Mikey. Pete leaned his upper body over the edge, their heads smacking into each other. "Ah!" Mikey exclaimed, backing up and rubbing his head.

Pete laughed, their little noises filling the empty night with glee instead of gloom. He rubbed his own head, shaking off the pain to look at his sort of friend. Mikey had the palm of his hand pushed on his forehead, his entire face scrunched up in pain. Finally, he pulled it away and looked up at Pete, titling his head. "What are you doing up there?"

"What are you doing down there?" Pete replied quickly, smirking. He held a hand out and Mikey eyed it suspiciously, then back at him. Pete didn't want him to look so scared anymore. "Come on. A little stargazing never hurt anyone."

"You don't know that," Mikey retorted, but it was clear he didn't care as he grabbed Pete's wrist, climbing up on to the roof of the truck and settling awkwardly beside him. He was all long legs and knees, and his lanky arms with those pale hands were trying to figure out where to go. He finally spread his legs over the edge and leaned on to his back, settling his hands on his stomach. Pete watched him for far too long. He watched his face twitch and his eyes blink slowly, so that his eyelashes brushed his cheeks delicately. He watched his hands rise and fall on his stomach as he took deep breaths. And then he watched as his dark, big eyes met his.