one more troubled soul » petekey

Eight

A/N: My deepest apologies for disappearing into the void. Forgive me?

"Life is a journey that must be traveled,
no matter how bad the roads
and accommodations."
- Oliver Goldsmith

"Pete? Pete.. Pete..."

It could've and should've just been a dream, but Mikey's voice was real, and desperate and calling so softly with his mouth so close to Pete's ear that it felt like a warm embrace. Pete tried not to wake up. It couldn't have been the morning yet, at least he hoped it wasn't. The night had only just fallen, it seemed, his heart had only just relaxed. His eyelids had just closed, hadn't they? But something kept pushing on his shoulders and there were lips on his ear. He swatted, eyes still closed, feeling his palm against a soft cheek. "Pete!" the voice grew louder, the hot breath from his face. "Hey, come on. Come on." It took a few more shakes to rattle Pete from darkness, and when his eyes fluttered open, he was surprised to see Mikey on top of him, bangs hanging off his head like icicles and eyes glittering in the grayness like a cat. "Morning."

"Morning?" Pete returned groggily. "No way..." He sat up, and Mikey moved to sit beside him on the couch. He had stolen most of Pete's thin blanket, cuddled underneath an ugly green color. Pete reached for the blanket, but Mikey lifted it and threw it over Pete, pulling him closer. He winced as their arms and legs rubbed against each other, hearing a taunting voice in the back of his mind. It was a muffled scream, banging on the doors of his brain. You don't deserve him, it said. You don't deserve anything.

"Yes way. Four in the morning, to be exact," Mikey replied, then threw his head back, pouring a handful of M&M's into his mouth. He held up the bag he had torn open and smiled sheepishly. "I may or may not have raided Frank's cupboards, or whatever..." He laughed and looked down at his lap sheepishly. The gentle giggle should've comforted Pete, like it always had, but at the moment it just felt haunting. It was an empty laugh.

"I didn't pin you as a rebel," Pete joked quietly. He cast a nervous glance down the hallway, raising his eyebrows at Mikey. They couldn't be too loud. Frank didn't seem to be too pleasant when he was fully awake, and Pete didn't want to see him now. He imagined it would be like waking a bear. He sighed and wrapped a nervous arm around Mikey's shoulders, sliding a bit closer. The guilt was chewing away at him, but he decided to not let it deny him at least a little bit of happiness, or at least a tickle of lust. "What are you doing awake? Have I rubbed off on you?"

"A little," Mikey mumbled. "I just.. couldn't sleep. Not in that bed, not on the floor. I'd rather spend time with you anyway." That has shocked Pete to his core. He didn't even think his own family enjoyed spending time with him, let alone Mikey, who Pete had done unspeakable things to. He couldn't for a second believe Mikey. Everything was making Pete feel so warm, and so cold.

"Spend time with me?" he repeated, incredulously. He wanted to make sure he had heard him right. Mikey nodded. He had. "God, you're an idiot."

"Excuse me?" Mikey said, quite jokingly. But there was a hint of sadness and uncertainty. Pete had hurt him again. He seemed to be doing all the wrong things. And not just lately, no, for years.

Pete quickly tried to amend. "No, I mean..." Mikey's face was expectant and the slightest bit hopeful. "Why would anyone wanna spend time with me, you know?" The words fell from his lips lazily, like they had never meant to fall anyway. Sort of like Pete. He watched Mikey's face go from relieved, to offended and then very, very sullen. Pete added a forced chuckle. The moment had dwindled away from them, he had said something wrong again.

"I forgive you, you know." The words seemed much louder than they were. They sounded over the blood that was rushing in Pete's ears and it sounded over the doubts and the guilt that were in his brain. They were shouting terrible things, and by all means, should have destroyed Pete by now. But Mikey's whisper, filled with hope for a second chance, was enough to be heard and felt like a gunshot. It was the shot heard around the world. At least, Pete's world.