Chapter 7: Silence and Hurt

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That's right school, I would see him at school. How could I avoid him? In some ways this felt like before when I first met him. Back then he was scary and creepy to me. But now when I went to school and avoided him it wouldn't be due to fear or uneasiness. It would be because I had hurt him and if I dared talk to him everyone I loved or knew would pay for it. But how could I go and face him now? The mere sight of him after I had said all those things would crush me. I began to debate weather I should even go to school or not. After eating and some thinking I went back to my room and collected my things for school and then headed outside and sighed heavily to myself. As I stood on the front doorstep I made my decision. I wouldn't be able to avoid him forever and I needed to go to school. I took a deep breath and began walking. I thought the fresh air would do me good. But I began to miss the nice car rides with Blaine. I shook my head forcing the memories to the back of my mind. "God if I can't even walk to school without thinking about him this is gonna be much harder then I thought." I said to myself with a pitiful tone. 

As I neared the school I checked my phone for the time. 6:40 am. I was only a couple blocks away I would make it on time. My heart grew heavier the closer to the school I got. By 6:50 I had made it to the school and to my locker. I looked around for the twins and their annoying leader. I then looked for Becca. I saw none of them. I then looked for one last person. Blaine, he was nowhere in sight waiting for me like he always did. In a way that made me a bit sad but I guess it was better this way. I got my books and headed for my first period class. I stood to the side of the door and took a deep breath. Once I walked in this room I couldn't hide from him and would have to deal with the situation. I let the breath out and turned into the doorway just as the bell rang. I looked up and scoped the room quickly and stopped for a moment. Staring at his seat I felt a small twinge of relief and sadness in my chest. His seat was empty. Was he here? Did he come to school? Or maybe he thought what I had earlier this morning that seeing each other would only hurt worse. I had so many thoughts racing through my mind when it was all interrupted by the sound of my teacher, "miss Davis we need to start class please sit down." I shook my head and apologized before looking at my seat. It was empty as well. I took it and tried my hardest not to look at the empty space where he would usually be.

 I hadn't even noticed the Sasha was once again staring a hole in my head. She never changed although I had hoped we would simply, not get along per say but, at least somewhat tolerate one another. The next few hours went by slowly as I thought about last night and how Blaine didn't come to school today. After my fifth hour class I went straight to my locker to get my things. As soon as I got them I turned only to see Sasha in my face, "where is he?" She asked in her usual rude tone of voice. I didn't feel like fighting or answering her today. I sigh and walk right past her to go to my next class. Just as I was about to get to the classroom she grabbed my shoulder and stopped me turning me around, "what did you do!? Why isn't Blaine here!?" She asked again more sharply, "it's your fault isn't!?" She asked a bit louder. "I saw the pitiful expression of your face this morning when you walked in and his seat was empty so that means something happened and that's why my love isn't here. So clearly you did something!" Hearing those words I began to feel my throat close up and it was becoming hard to hold back the lump in my throat and the tears that wanted to spill down my face. Blaine would have rescued me from her by now and the fact that he wasn't here to do that made me even more upset. She was set on getting an answer so I opened my mouth and calmed myself a bit, "I....did what I had to do." I managed to get out in a few shaky breaths. She could tell something had happened. "Yea well if he doesn't come back soon, it's gonna be your head." She said before walking into class. No one ever really paid us any attention. As she walked past me I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then I made my way to my seat in class. I happen to look and I saw Becca sitting across the room. She looked at me and gave me a concerned look. I didn't want her to worry and so I smiled gently hoping that she would think she was mistaken and simply pay me no mind. 

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⏰ Last updated: Dec 25, 2015 ⏰

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