A Game of Lies

Mother

He sighed as he realized he was headed for his father's chambers.

His father had opened his door, motioning for Lewyn to enter.

"Sit", his father simply commanded, and Lewyn sat on one of the chairs.

"You want to be a man, do you?", his father asked, sitting across from him.

Lewyn simply sighed, annoyed, rolling his eyes.

Jaime just chuckled.

"You're just a little boy, do you know that?", Jaime asked, "you're a little boy who think's he's something he's not. Not yet. A man faces his problems, he doesn't run away from them. All you've been doing is running away. You think a man disrespects the very man who brought him into this word? No, a man never disrespects his father! That's what boy's do. Boys, who don't know any better! You know nothing about the world, not truly, not about anything", Jaime said coldly.

"Maybe I would know if you told me", Lewyn said in a whisper, looking away from his father.

"What's that supposed to mean?", Jaime asked.

Lewyn sighed, looking to his father.

"Well go on", Jaime said, "tell me. Tell me all about being a father. Being a man. Maybe I could learn something useful", Jaime went on.

"How am I supposed to know anything, if you don't tell me anything", Lewyn asked.

"And what am I supposedly not telling you?", Jaime asked, and he regretted it as soon as he did.

"Who is my mother?", Lewyn asked, exasperated. It's been the very question Jaime had dreaded for years, ever since the baby boy had been laid into his arms, and it had finally arrived.

"When you need to know that, you will know", Jaime said quietly.

"There you go, father! Right there! I've never asked! Now I am. Now you tell me! Not when you're ready. I've spent my whole life wondering. Wondering about something it'll take you a few seconds to say! You claim to be so proud of me, yet you can't even stand to say the name of the woman who gave birth to me?", the boy asked, his voice rising with every word.

"It is none of your concern!", Jaime yelled back.

"How can you say that?", Lewyn asked, truly shocked.

Jaime suddenly jumped up from the chair.

"Let me tell you something, boy", he yelled, pointing to Lewyn, "The only reason you're alive, is thanks to me! I gave you life! Not the other way around! I owe you nothing, so long as I keep you alive and safe! You do not make demands of me! You do not tell me I have to do anything! When I'm ready to tell you, you will know, but until that time, be a man, and stop whining about it", Jaime said. He didn't mean to be so cruel, but he was fed up with his son's disrespect, and he couldn't tell the boy, even if he wanted to. He couldn't.

Lewyn jumped up from the chair himself, he wanted to leave.

"Sit down!", Jaime roared, "you aren't going anywhere until I say you are!", he said, and Lewyn slumped back down into the chair. He'd never seen his father so angry with him, and he didn't plan on testing it much more, but he felt tears forcing to the surface, and he refused to cry in front of his father.

Jaime paced around the room angrily, as Lewyn sat quietly.

"I honestly don't know what I've done wrong. Where I've gone wrong. I did my best. I refused to treat you like my father treated me, but maybe I haven't been strict enough with you", Jaime said, and Lewyn chuckled.

"That's funny to you?", Jaime asked angrily.

"I only meant", Lewyn began.

"To the the hell's with what you meant", Jaime said, "if only you knew. If only you you had the slightest clue!", he bellowed.

Lewyn spoke calmly, "then why don't you tell me?", he asked.

Jaime just shook his head angrily, pacing the room.

"Father, you expect me to just accept everything, yet you tell me nothing. No reason as to why. It's cruel. All my life, I've heard "if only you knew", knew what, father? Just tell me! If my mother is dead, if that's it, or, or if she was some tavern wench, if that's what you're trying to protect me from-", the boy said, shaking his head.

Jaime grew quiet now, and after a moment he walked to his son.

"Look at me", he said, as he sat back down across from his son.

Jaime swallowed, thinking for a moment, to himself. It'd dawned on him before, that this could be his excuse, if need be. But it pained him. It broke his heart. But his son had the slightest idea, would know no different. If he must lie to his son, to truly protect him, to ensure he never learned the truth, he would.

"What if", he asked, then he hesitated a moment more, asking himself if he truly wanted to do this.

"What if I didn't know who your mother was?", it pained him to even say it. To lie to his son, so greatly.

Lewyn was silent for a minute or so. Jaime could see disappointment in his son's eyes.

"How do you know I'm your son then?", the boy suddenly asked.

"You are my son", Jaime assured him, "that I know as fact", he said.

It was mostly a true statement. Lewyn would always be his son. No matter what.

"So", Lewyn asked, the anger had left the room completely, and both of them now sat, just talking.

"You didn't know her name?", he asked. Jaime shook his head, no.

"So when did you find about about me? What happened to her?", Lewyn asked.

"Rembemer, I was young. Not much older than you. You were born right around the end of Robert's Rebellion, she'd told me your Nameday, that's how I know it, and she'd brought you to me, and said she couldn't care for you, and she begged me to take care of you, to protect you, not let any harm come to you", Jaime felt tears of his own, as his mind drifted to her.

"I'd remembered her, only by face. And I never learned her name", Jaime finished, looking away from his son. The guilt overwhelmed him.

"But", he asked, hesitating, "why didn't she come to see me?", he asked.

Jaime shook his head, "she was very young when she had you. The war had just ended. I assured her Id give you everything and more, and keep you safe, and I suppose she believed", he paused, the pain in his heart rising, "I suppose she thought you'd be safer, better off without her", he said, correcting safer with better.

In an odd way, Lewyn felt better. At least now he knew. And he knew his father had loved him. Still loved him, fiercely even. His father had taken him, had even wanted him to carry the name Lannister, and requested it from the new King Robert Baratheon. Surely, if Jaime was ashamed of his son, he would not have requested the boy to be called Lannister, surely he'd have simply not acknowledged the baby. No, instead, he risked his position and honor as a King's Guard, still just a boy himself, to love his son.

"Thank you for telling me", he said to Jaime, who just nodded, sadly.

There was a knock at the door then.

"Come in", Jaime called, and the door opened.

Oberyn Martell entered.

"Ser Jaime", the man said, eyeing Lewyn and Jaime, both sitting across from each other, tears obviously threatening both of them, "I was hoping to have a word with you".