knowing you (process of editing)

Chapter Twenty-eight~ acclamation

Kaylee's P.O.V.

We were ten minutes from our new pack home and my nerves were shot. I felt broken and alone. Nehemiah had tried to rape me and then my mate sent me to Wisconsin, to a place where I know noone. I wished that I could've just stayed in Phoenix, but he didnt want me there anymore so clearly I wasn't what he wanted period. How could he want to be away from me, I felt like my heart was going to explode at any moment from the pain. I didnt want to eat, sleep, talk, anything. I just looked out of the window and remained silent the entire car ride. How could my own mate just throw me away like I was nothing? Maybe I just felt like he Was my mate....Maybe he wasn't. That would explain his complacency with our relationship. I couldn't get it out of my mind. Everyone tried to cheer me up, but there was really no use. It felt like I left a piece of my soul there, my wolf was inside howling in pain. I just wanted to sleep and nothing else.
Now I had to go to meet these people of this pack in someplace that I've never been and didn't want to be? I already had in my mind set that polite and nice wasnt in my plans this day. We finally entered pack territory and I could feel the trepidation rising inside of me, when we finally arrived at the pack house. It was really nice, A beautiful victorian home, least thats how my mom described it. To me It looked like kinda like one of those old country houses, like from the south. I imagined that our great-grandma probably made lemonade and sat out in some type of rocking chair on the porch. It was a sweet thought, but I didnt feel like it was home at all. Arizona was my home. We rode up to the house and my mother knocked on this huge door with a gigantic knocker. Out came my father and He looked so cheerful that he almost had a glow. He looked younger. I was so overwhelmed, that I just walked up and gave him a hug and I just couldn't stop myself. I started to cry uncontrollably. "Oh my goodness, what's the matter dovey?" He always called me that when I was upset....his tiny dove. I was crying too hard to answer him. My mother shook her head as if to say don't ask. He slowly walked me up the stairs and into a bright turquoise room. It was really beautiful I would really see later. "This is your room beautiful sweetheart, maybe you just need a rest from the Long trip. You take a nap and when you are ready you come on down okay?" I just nodded and laid down. I finally drifted off to sleep. Sleeping had become my best friend, it kept me from facing reality. When I was asleep I didnt have to think , feel, or hurt....So I slept. Days passed and I slept.
My mom and sister would come to my door and leave food and sometimes dessert, and sometimes I'd eat it but most times not. They would knock because my door stayed locked at all times. I didnt want to have to talk to anyone or explain anything. Time passed and days and nights just started to blend into each other. I could feel myself disappearing into nothingness. My wolf was so lethargic that she didnt even howl in sadness anymore. She was unresponsive and so was I. I slept, ate, and slept again. The only thing that stayed on my mind was Baylon....Baylons eyes, Baylons mouth, Baylons beautiful black hair, Baylons touch.....Baylon. How would I feel that much for someone who wasnt my mate? Clearly He was... He just didn't want me.
I awoke one morning to a fervent knock on my door. "Yep!" I yelled in an aggravated tone. "Open the door please?" A tiny voice came from the other side. Was it a child? I thought I would read this kid for bothering me. I opened the door to see a tiny old woman standing there. "Hello sweetheart, I heard from your father that you aren't doing to well. I thought that maybe you and I could talk for awhile." She came through the door , more like bombarded, and sat on the end of the bed. Then she patted the space next to her and motioned for me to sit. I decided to just make my life easier and sit. "I just thought that I would introduce myself, my name is Kay and I am your great-grandmother." She smiled at me. I must've been named after her. I smiled back and for the life of me I didnt know why. She gently touched my ashen face. "Sweetie its time to live again. You have mourned a long time. YOU held your breath, now it is time to breath again my love." It was very sweet, her words But she didn't know me, or what I was going through in my life. She had a strange, faraway look in her eyes. "I was in love once..we had neighboring farms, it was long ago. You know our kind live for hundreds of years. " I thought about being away from Baylon another hundred and fifty years. I was a young cub then, about twenty. His name was Albert, and I knew that he was my mate. She smiled. "Yes he was a human, but I could tell that we were meant to be. Even my Wolf told me that WE were soul mates. Well needless to say my father wasn't happy at all. He didn't know then that a human could be a mate. It was really rare, but it did occur."
"Nothing could keep me away from Albert. I was head over heels in love , and I knew that he loved me just as much." She paused and her smile disappeared. It changed. In her eyes .....I could see complete sadness. "One night I decided to show him who I really was. I just knew that his love for me would drown any apprehension that he would feel about my wolf. I thought once I explained it, he would understand and love me all the more. I showed him who I was and....." She paused for a moment," He was utterly horrified by me, he wanted absolutely nothing do with me. He promised me that he wouldn't tell anyone, I suspect out of fear? But he never wanted to see me again. I drowned myself in sadness. My mother was sympathetic, but all that my father would say is I told you so. He didnt understand. Finally it was told to my family that he had died....At his funeral his mother said that he was so sad that it seemed his soul was torn in two and he...he...he killed himself. Well I spiralled into a deep Long lasting depression. I spent five months dressed in black and didn't speak a word.
Then one day my mother sat me down and had the same talk that I am having with you right now. She told me that I am a wolf by blood, and I am also my pack. She said the word "wowacintanka" which means perseverance. In whatever shape or form that comes in. You are alive my child, do not let the outside influences of others actions in this life dictate who you are. Put it all that in a corner of your heart that is deep, dark, and bottomless. Its bottomless because you always hurt more deeply than you have happiness. Your happiness will overflow, but your sadness will burrow itself deep within your soul. Concentrate on the love..... The love of your family and friends that love you." She kissed my cheek and stood "I hope that you come down for dinner I would love to see my whole family together at the dinner table." She nodded and turned to leave. I stood quickly and hugged her as a tear rolled down my cheek.
After she left I thought about how very upset she must have been. Why did he kill himself instead of just being with her and being happy? Was he that  afraid, or was he disgusted? Whatever it was it wasnt enough to not live in complete happiness....he should have at least tried. Well I decided right then that I had to survive and thrive, not allow this to kill me. I took a shower and combed my hair, which was a feet of its own. "Wowacintanka." I whispered to myself. Finally I left my new room, dinner did sound good. Sunday dinners were always special to my family.....

Monday morning came and my parents put me in school finally. I'd missed about two weeks of school that my sister and brother had gone and and become comfortable. It was really nice and kaya showed me around and introduced me to some kids she'd met, which was cool. They were nice. I had to learn how function once more. Live like all that happened in Arizona hadn't happened. Try to be my cheerful self. All of my classes were built towards graduation and I was glad . Everyone was buzzing about prom and graduation. I didnt care about any of that, I just wanted to go to college and not be in Wisconsin anymore. I did my work and minded my bussines. After the first couple of weeks everything fell into place although I did keep to myself. I could think back to when I used to be social, but all of that changed and my parents could see that. So they decided to have a party. My father felt that it was finally time to get everyone in the pack together and he would get to know all of his pack and in turn they would be more familiar with the new pack leader and his family. I really didn't want to join in, but my father told me that it was my responsibility as an alphas daughter to show my new love to my new pack.
It was the day of the party and all of the older pack members were regulated to one part of the house while younger ones were out on the patio area. This place was very earthy. So many trees and so much grass. And there was a beautiful pond that you could just stroll around and clear your mind , which I did. I sat and watched the party from the other side of the pond. Kanen was the host of this small gathering. It made sense, he was the future alpha and all of them were his future pack. I watched Kanen and I could see that it all came so naturally to him. He was always a natural leader, although he did follow direction well, it wasnt in his blood to be a follower. He had always had his own ideas about things. In retrospect, it made perfect sense.
My brother was so comfortable and so was Kaya, which was highly unusual, but so cool. She usually didnt get really close to people very fast. I felt kinda left out. Like everyone was moving and I was at a standstill. I decided to go over to the table and try to socialize a little. This was my pack after all. I went to sit and at least watch all the young people slow dancing, kissing, and smiling. "Hey, im Casey." Said a voice to the left of me. She was a teenage girl with a pair of thick bifocals and a long black ponytail. She looked smart, but she was cute at the Same time. She looked Kayas age I guessed. I smiled.
"Hey...Im kaylee." "Yes....I know. I was so excited to meet you guys." See slung her black ponytail over her shoulder. "It was kinda boring around here. Then we all learned that the REAL alpha was coming back, and it was pandemonium. At least with us younger crowd. We were all waiting for Kanen to come back from the first time that they came down here. All the girls were gaga and it was worth the wait. He is so adorable and now he is like a celeb to the three surrounding packs and ours!" She smiled and looked up at him adoringly.
A celeb? Kanen?
Then I saw it. All of the guys were laughing and high fiving him and all of the girls were giving him the dreamy eyes. He seemed like a king here. He may not have been king, but he was a prince, prince of the Bresette pack. I smiled. If anyone deserved it he did. My brother was always a good guy and he did everything with and for our father. I could always tell that he loved us all, but Kanen was his favorite and it was okay with kaya and I. We loved Kanen just as much. I was sure that daddy was so proud him. And I knew Kanen was hurt so much. Anna wasn't here, he had to miss his mate so much, but no one could see it on him at all. Thats when I realized that I was causing alot of stress for my parents for no reason. I've never been a problem, as a matter of fact all of us were always pretty good kids. Maybe it was always having only each other to depend on. I kind of admired my brother and sister at that point, and realized that I needed to pull it together and make them proud of me once more as well. I would do what I needed to do to be myself again. That first meant being over Baylon, my mate......My nothing.
"So Casey, what do kids do around here? Maybe we could hang out sometime?" She smiled
Then Kanen came over to me., "Kay, I have this letter for you. It's from Baylon....."