Finding My Normal

Ch 80: Finding My Normal

It all started with my very first friend and here I am taking this final leap with him.

"Thank you for bringing me here." I tell Kota as he walks with me along the beach and we make our way towards the bottom of the rocky cliff. Max has joined us and he merrily runs along the coast. As we approach the rocks Kota holds my hand and helps me traverse the pathway to the spot just under where my parents were pushed off the cliff.

"That's the spot." I tell him as I point to the area.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Kota offers.

I squeeze his hand, "I need to do this by myself."

He nods and tells me he'll be close by. I continue my journey over the rocks and finally make it to the spot. There is a small flat rock that overlooks the very water my parents crashed to their deaths. I take a seat and bring my knees toward my chest as I pull out the first rose and note Volto left me all those years ago.

I unravel the paper and read it one last time. My eighth birthday is when this all began, I never knew it would lead me to this. I'm not talking about all the bad things; I'm talking about the good things. Without Volto leaving me behind that day and leaving me this note I can't help but think I would have never met my friends, I would have never had the Anderson's as my family and I would have never joined an Academy team.

I think back to my old life, when everything was normal. No. Nothing was normal. This entire time with the Anderson's I've been going about this all wrong. Using my past life and other people's measures of what is considered normal when everyone's normal is different. I simply needed to find my normal-- what I want and need. My journey through my first assignment helped me find my normal, even though the assignment was fake.  What was it Lily told me? No one is normal, we all have bumps in the road? She is definitely right. My fears, losing my parents, Volto...those were just bumps. My friends and family helped me find a way over them.

This entire time I thought I wanted to be normal... to muster up the courage to go out in the real world and do all those things I read about in books; saw in movies. Normal is not what I wanted, normal is not what I needed. I want to be happy with the person I am inside and I need all nine of my academy boys moving forward.

I fold the note back up and tie it around the dried up rose and toss them both into the strong waves below. The dusty red rose stands out against the white foam of the waves, then the ocean takes it over. Dragging the note and rose--my past--into it's depths never to be seen again. This is my chance to start over. Screw finding my normal, my normal is already here. It's now time to find my family.