My Enemy, My Mate (Complete)

Chapter Fifteen

A week later, I lay in Jackson's bed at the Merphate Pack house. They released me from the hospital four days ago. Since then, I have been laying here in his bed, breathing in the scent of him and sleeping away as much time as I could. It seemed like it was my only relief.

I couldn't bring myself to eat or drink. I could barely force myself to breathe.

Instead, I spent the days with Jackson's note beside me staring at the ceiling as I played with the rings that once again rest on my finger. A gift that Jackson left me before he vanished.

We hadn't heard any news from him since he left, not that I was expecting to. I was hoping that no news was good news.

Pack members brought food to me every two hours. Almost all of it lay untouched. I couldn't even look at it. I wasn't hungry, I had no interest in food. I had no interest in conversation or small talk.

I just wanted Jackson here. I just wanted my baby back. I just wanted everything to go back to when it was good. I wanted all of the bad erased from our lives. I just wanted to stop hurting all the time.

I only started to eat a week later when Reta came in. She looked at me sadly and held my hand. She told me if I didn't start eating they would have to hook me up to an IV. So I began to eat the bare minimum and pushed the rest around on the plate.

It didn't help that every second day a member of a different pack (including the Cardaver Pack) would come to the house and do a search to ensure Jackson hadn't returned. I watched with little interest as they searched through our entire room. Most were polite and courteous. Some left the room ransacked afterwards.

I just left everything where it laid. I couldn't muster the energy to get up and clean when they would do the same thing two days later.

Reta, my Mom and even Allison and Tess had come to me, trying to get me out of bed and outside. Even just trying to get me to go down to a common area, out of the room. Fresh air outside.

I denied all of their requests. I couldn't face the outside world right now. I wasn't sure if I would ever be able to again. I couldn't keep my window open. Every time I heard children playing outside I collapsed.

I couldn't take it. I can't take it. I couldn't understand why the Goddess was putting us through all of this.

I'm not strong enough.

And so my days went on like that - full of despair, of denial, self-loathing and regret. I was so bogged down I almost wished when I fell asleep that I wouldn't wake up again.

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I spent a month and a half-conscious, despondent state. I said barely a word to anyone and just merely existed.

It was a regular day for me. I woke from my second nap to the stifling room. All of the windows were closed and the blinds were drawn, making an artificial night. It may have actually been night for all I knew, I didn't bother keeping track of time anymore. It only hurt more.

I felt a pull to the left and blearily opened my eyes.

"Romy, wake up," I heard and was certain my ears were deceiving me.

It must be happening again. I was hallucinating. There was no way I just heard Jackson beside me as though he were in the same room as me. Not after all this time. Not after all of this hurt.