Lightning In A Bottle

Chapter Nine

                  

December

There's only so much time that can slip from you before other people start to notice you've disappeared.

Brenn stays irritated at me for weeks. I go to class as often as possible but sometimes I just don't because Nick's bed is my first home. My second is my dorm room.

I'm failing probably and I don't care. When I tell Nick I need to study he brings me coffee but then ends up eating me out on the floor of my dorm room. I have to bite down on my own arm so I'm not too loud.

When he comes over and Brenn is there he drags me away from her and my schoolwork and I really don't care about that either.

find myself trying to engage in something else other than Nicholas but it's impossible.

Weeks pass with Nick at my side, my blurry life speeding by and I don't care about either.

The day after Christmas breaks end I'm sitting unpacking from my visit to mom. Being away from Nick was almost painful but we texted the whole time. My mom barely noticed I was at the house. Cami was excited to see me though. I told her I had a boyfriend and she asked if he was nice. I said yes. 

The weather back home was so chilly, I thought it was going to snow. Cami and me went out for hot chocolate on Christmas Eve.

Her tiny gloved hand held mine and she asked me about Nick again.

"What's your boyfriend's name?" She jumped on a crack in the sidewalk.

"Nick."

"Is he pretty?" Cami attempted to do a cart wheel but she ended up just jumping a little with her hands on the cold concrete.

"Yes, he's really pretty," I laughed.

"Are you in love with him?" Cami stopped walking and looked up at me. "You sound like you love him, AJ."

"I do," I told her, squatting down on my knees so I was at her eye level.

"What do you do when you don't love him anymore?" She blinked her brown eyes at me. Her nose pink from the cold.

"I don't think that's going to happen," I said truthfully and then I kissed her forehead and we got hot chocolate and she talked about things like pictures she draws and I couldn't help but think I wish I were her age again.

I'm trying to unpack still but now Nick is on my mind and I want to go see him.

Brenn comes into the dorm, just showered, her hair is still wet.

"Hey!" I greet her. "I just got back. When did you?"

"A few hours ago," She sounds annoyed. She digs through her stuff. "I got you this."

She hands me a small box. I'm a little surprised but I take it and open the lid. Inside a necklace that has the letter A on it.

I look up and notice she's wearing one with a B on it. she got is necklaces and my stomach suddenly turns over in guilt.

"Oh," I look sadly at it. It's beautiful and I didn't even think to get Brenn anything. I got something for Nick, I even bought Tyler and James a new bong yet I didn't think to get a Christmas present for my best friend.

"You don't like it?" She still sounds annoyed.

"No, I love it, I just," I feel like I'm about to cry. "I didn't get you-"

She cuts me off.

"I fucking figured that you didn't."

"I'm sorry, I just didn't think about it. Plus, you're pissed at me anyways why does it matter?"