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happy birthday baseball dad camp counselor josh

hey  i havent even updated in days but i'm almost at 6k views ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy thanks

this chapter is a collab with @prlydrwnstrypes on twitter she gave me a lot of ideas and i am friends with her and together we are the Biscuit Bitches. i wrote this all tho so if it sucks then it's my fault. follow her on twitter btw

one summer for the first time in a million years The Strypes weren't on tour cuz they were taking a break for the next album. so josh took up this opportunity to break out his collection of White Dad at a Baseball Game hats and become a camp counselor because that's what he looks like when he's wearing those hats. also girls like guys that are good with kids and can rock a baseball dad hat at the same time.

it was his first day at Camp Ass Fuck. hes hes rollin in with an entire suitcase full of his dad hats because he knows that kids are filthy little shits and he doesn't want headlice all up in his buzzcut

upon arrival he was already pissed cuz there was bugs everywhere and hes not about that life. also nobody told him how bomb his natural eyelashes look and nobody has soaked in any of his beauty yet. he didnt freshly shave his buzzcut to be ignored. smh.

he was completely done with everything so far and to make things even better he had to do team-building exercises with the children. the little snots kept stealing his hat so he snapped one in the face with the Tug of War rope and he got yelled at for being violent. but he did puppy dog eyes and got away with it

then they had to do trust falls and josh is a Big Manly Heterosexual and he has big Manly Heterosexual muscles and the weaklings would not be able to handle fucking Irish Superman falling on them. he cleared his throat loudly to get the attention of all the ladies in the room so they could see how good he was with kids. it was the kid's turn to catch him. they let josh fall to the floor dramatically. the menacing children were laughing at his PAIN. he laughed along but inside he was raging. he was about to punt one of those little fuckers across the room like a soccer ball.

later on in the day he was trying to be a good camp counselor. he called out,

[read this in his voice] "hey Ass Fuckers who wants to shoot some hoops on the b ball court?! whoever wins the first game gets a free ice cream when the ice cream truck comes by! Don't run by the pool, kids!"

then some little shit kid yelled "what's that baseball dad going on about? he doesn't even go here!"

then josh locked himself in the bathroom and listened to sad Drake songs for the rest of the day while running his hands over his buzzcut because his hair felt funny and prickly like a porcupine.

it was getting later at night so he decided to crawl out of his bathroom cave and join the rest of the camp. they were sitting around a camp fire. the children were yelling at each other so josh thinking he's good with kids is like,

[read this in his voice] "woah kids, slow down! everyone gets a turn to tell a ghost story around the camp fire. Where's Jimmy? Where did Jimmy go? JIMMY! WHERE ARE YOU LIL MAN? Oh shit! What's wrong, bud? A snake? A snake did what? Oh my God! Someone call an ambulance a snake bit Jimmy's dick! The camp fire stories will have to wait for tonight, kids. Sorry. This is a situation that's out of my hands."

then a wild bear attacked Josh while he was carrying Jimmy and his fucked up dick back to civilization. it was bad and he got blood on his Baseball dad hat and that was worse than any injuries he suffered. he had to go to the hospital and he was having a shit time there. then the next day all the kids and counselors from the camp showed up in his hospital room sporting buzzcuts. even the lady counselors had buzzcuts and everybody likes a lady with a buzzcut let's be real. and josh was very touched by this.

then he went home a week later and had to take medicine so he didnt get rabies and then he decided that he hated children and nature and was just going to stick to being the normie member of The Strypes who likes Childish Gambino and baseball dad hats.

the end. jimmy's dick never worked again and he was only 10 years old r.i.p in pieces buddy