I'm entering another dark hallway,a long room without windows, light and just bare cement walls, wich soon ends at a stairway.
It's just going down from here, it looks even colder and darker downstairs.
I can hear tripping water. Nothing else.
I don't want to go down there, but I also can't stay in this dark hallway, and I can't go back.
So, do I even have a choice?
I start to walk down the stairs, with every step it's getting colder.
My whole body was already cold before, but now I'm losing the feel in my hands and feet.
It's this kind of coldness you can feel even at your bones.
The stairs are also getting wet and greasy.
I slip over my feed and fall down, luckily it has been the final stages, so it doesn't hurt too bad.
I still can't stand up.
I don't know if it's because of the pain in my leg and ribs, or if it's the cold, or just that I'm really tired and hungry, but I'm just laying on the cold, wet floor and can't move.
I should stand up.
I'm going to die if I don't stand up.
This is going to be my end.
Stand up!
But I can't.
After a while I fall asleep, for the first time thankful for the nightmares I usually have, because even the worst are still better than the real world.
When I wake up I'm still on the floor, curled up to a ball.
It's so cold.
I feel like I'm getting watched.
I look up, but can't see anything.
Then I hear a door opening and closing somewhere.
I'm not alone.
Here's someone else, someone who knows about me, but don't want me to know about him.
The question is; is this a good or a bad thing?
I sit up, every part of my body hurts, my blood starts to circulate again slowly, what causes even most pain.
My whole body and all my clothes are wet from the night on the floor.
At least I'm still alive.
I try to stand up, but I can't.
My head hurts, my mouth is dry, black dots are dancing in front of my eyes.
I don't know for how long I have been here now, but obviously long enough to be really thirsty.
Also hungry, but mainly thirsty.
I suddenly realize that no one is going to look for me, whoever put me here, and why ever this person did this, it's the only human in the world who knows that I'm here.
Everyone else thinks I'm in a mental institution.
Safe.
I'm going to die before my parents realize that there's something wrong.
I shouldn't be that afraid of dying.
There was a time, it isn't even long ago, I wanted my life to end.
Then I got these pills of course...
But I don't want to die like this.
I wanted to choose it.
Decide by myself when, where and how.
If I die here they won't find my corps, it's just gonna lay here and decompose until it's one of these dead bodies I see sometimes.
Or I'm going to find whoever is walking around here.
In the end, and in my position, it doesn't really matter if this person wants to hurt me or not.
But I still can barely move and not to talk about standing up.
I need water.
There must be a reason that all the floor is wet, there has to be water somewhere.
I slowly start to crawl away from the staircase I came down from, until I find a open door.
The floor is covered with cold, smelly water, so I guess I'm right here.
I don't get very far until I have to rest again.
