Life of Samcro (sons of anarchy)

21

I leaned my elbows on the counter top and stared at the blank wall . I haven't slept all night , not once . Jax probably felt me get up from the bed about 12 times , hence why he is still sleeping . I have tidied this apartment so many times , even though it was sparkling clean , I cleaned it even more .

I have tried everything to get last night out my head , hoping that it was just a dream but it wasn't , it was reality . I felt like I was over reacting a lot but then again , I'm acting the way any other person would if they just got told that the mother they grew up with wasn't actually their mom . It's worse because they waited 23 years to tell me , why couldn't they have told me when I was about 13 when I understood things .

I'm not sure if I will ever forgive everyone , especially my dad or my mom . I decided that last night even though Rhonda isn't my actual mother that I'll still call her mom because that's who I see her as and will always see her as .

"You didn't sleep last night" I stood up straight to see Jax leaning against the kitchen door frame

"I couldn't sleep , I just kept replaying last night in my mind , did it really happen?" I asked Jax knowing fine well it did

"I'm sorry . If I knew I would have told you . I can't believe they would keep something like that from you" Jax said moving towards me

"It hurts that they all lied to me , every single one of them . I don't understand why they wouldn't tell me" I said as Jax put his arms around me

"I don't understand it either babe " Jax said sighing loudly

"Have you spoke to any of them?" I asked

"Opie , he called about 10 minutes ago . He said that the club are having a meeting and they want me there" Jax said and I could here in his voice he was asking for my approval

"You can go , I'm not going to let you be annoyed at them because I am" I said looking up to him

"You sure ?" He asked

"Of course . It's your club , I'm not going to make you chose between us" I said

"Thank you" Jax said and he placed a soft kiss to my lips

***

Jax's POV

I parked my bike and got off . No one was around . The shop was closed so no workers were around . I made my way into the club house to see Tigs behind the bar with Bobby and I don't even know where anyone else was .

"How is she?" Tigs asked

"How do you think she is?" I asked

I didn't even bother to wait for an answer I made my way to the chapel and took my seat waiting for everyone else to appear . They better hurry up , I can't be fucked with them all today . Everyone piled into the room , Eddie looked horrible , that's what he gets , arsehole .

"Before we get down to business , Jax can we please talk about last night?" Clay asked

"What is there to talk about ? Most of you knew Rhonda wasn't Mia's real mother , yet you all hid it from her ? Did you hope she would never find out ? How could you all do that ? Mia does everything for all of you , she bends over backwards for this club and never keeps anything from you all . She helps you all when you need it and you repay her by lying to her . Who decided to never tell her?" I asked and by now I was getting really pissed off

"JT told us not to tell her . Mia and Rhonda never had the mother daughter relationship they both wanted . If Mia found out any sooner that Rhonda wasn't her mother it would have been a whole lot worse . John didn't want to see Mia hurt and Rhonda too , he told us to swear to never tell Mia because he didn't want us to hurt one of our own" Tigs spoke up and as usual it has something to do with my father

"He's dead and has been for 6 years . Why couldn't you have told her once he died?" I asked

"Because we all swore to never tell her , what gets said in the chapel , stays in the chapel!" Clay said

"Well for anyone wondering how Mia is , she never slept last night . She locked me out until about 2am and once she let me in she broke down in tears , she cried for over an hour and once we finally went to bed she got up so many times . She looks so hurt that I'm scared to say the wrong thing . She thought last night was going to be fun , she was so excited to have a big family night with everyone . She was so happy to tell everyone that we moved in together and the night got ruined by something you , yes you Eddie should have told her years ago . I honestly don't know how she will forgive any of you" I said lighting a cigarette

"She forgave you for Brianna" Eddie said

I didn't know how to answer that . In a way they are two completely different things but I did lie and she forgave me but it wasn't as bad as what everyone kept form her for all these years .

"That was completely different and you know it . I think it's worse for your father to lie to you all your life than a boyfriend" I said

"D'you think she'll ever forgive them?" Juice asked

"I don't know " and with that I got up and left the chapel

I wasn't sitting around talking about last night because it just got me pissed off and I didn't want to go home and have Mia seeing how angry I was . I knew she would forgive them , in time . I don't know how long it will be though , it could be 4 days or 8 months or 3 years , I'm not sure one bit . All I know is having that girl pissed at you is one of the worst things ever .

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Yey another jax's POV . How are you all liking this so far ??

Also I know what I write might be completely different to what happens in the series but this is a fan fic story !!