The Voting Machine

Broken Promise

The next morning I was summoned to the visitation room and seated with my wife and daughter on the other side of the glass divider where families come to visit cellmates.

Suzy stared at me with contempt holding Reina in her arms. A year earlier, my wife visited with our newborn infant every day when I was jailed in the 'Employee of the Year' murder trial. I promised none of us would every go through something like that again.

Another broken promise.

I explained my situation. It was a DUI but it could've been worse. Nobody was injured. I told her a car hit me from the side. I told her a good lawyer would show the judge that I didn't create this mess.

Suzy looked completely exhausted. I knew she had no faith in me.

"I still love you more than anything."

It was the only thing I could say that she might believe.

"Do you still love me, Suzy?"

"What does it matter?"

"What do you mean? We believe in love. We believe in being together forever. Those are the things we always believed in."

I knew it was a stretch to go back this far in our relationship. That's what you do when you're desperate. You stretch.

"I know what we believed, Temo. It's easy to believe anything. It's not until you get tested that you realize whether your belief is right or wrong. Maybe we were wrong about everything. Maybe there's no love, no forever. Maybe there's no such thing as a soul mate."

"There is, Suzy. We can't give up just because we get tested. This is just a hard time. We didn't deserve this."

"People don't get what they deserve, Temo. You're supposed to know that better than anyone. That's why I chose to marry you, Temo, because you know that's the way the world works. They kick you when you don't deserve it so you have to be strong. I thought you were a man who could handle it. But you aren't that man anymore. So stop making excuses. And don't say this isn't your fault. That's the last thing I want to hear."

"So what do you want to hear, Suzy?"

She shook her head.

"We need to be apart, Temo. Things haven't been good for a long time. You have been out of control for a while now. This is the final proof."

"You're divorcing me?"

"Not divorce. Let's just be separate for a while," she said. "We'll know what to do after that."

"OK," I sighed. I had expected she would ask me to move out. It could've been worse. She wasn't insisting on divorce. She hadn't given up on me completely.

"We have the money in the Employee of the Year account," I told her. "That will be enough to last you for a while. I'll find another place to stay, if they let me out of here."

"You think they won't?"

I shrugged. "They never would've let me out of here the last time if it wasn't for you. You saved my life twice, Suzy. The first time was when you married me. The second time was during the trial last year when you proved my innocence."

"I can't keep saving you forever. You have to save yourself."

She left me with no assurances when we would meet again.