The Voting Machine

A Sense of Tragedy

Annabelle dropped me off back at the motel, where I received an unexpected call from her father.

"Temo, this is Marcus." He was phoning me from the minimum-security prison in Victorville. "I want you to come and visit me tomorrow morning. Come alone and don't tell Annabelle about this. Make up some kind of excuse. I'll have my lawyer send a cab for you at six a.m.. You'll be in Victorville by eight a.m., when they let visitors in. We can have you back in Vegas by eleven."

When I arrived at the prison the next morning, Marcus was ready for me. He looked better than I'd seen him at any time since his downfall.

"How are things with our family?" he asked.

"Not so good. We're still separated. My wife told me she has started dating someone else."

"I've been married three times. Just remember it's not the end of the world if it doesn't work out. You can still be friends. You can still respect each other. Don't impose a sense of tragedy on the whole thing. So many people make that mistake. The real tragedy is getting stuck in a bad marriage and wondering what might have been. You have your whole life ahead of you to do whatever you want. You have your freedom, which is a hell of a lot more than I can say."

"How's your appeal going?" I asked.

"It's taking time but we're building a powerful case. We're going to show the prosecution team for what they really are. This time they're going to be on trial: the Department of Justice attorneys, the FBI, and their gang of crooked informants like Teresa and J.P. We're going to expose their incompetence and immorality. We're going to show all the conflicts of interest. I am looking forward to the trial. They're not going to know what hit them."

"I am glad you're doing well," I said.

"Annabelle is helping me quite a bit."

"That's what she's good at," I said. "I know that first hand. She has such a sense of mission, whether it's helping people recover from addiction or getting them to vote."

"Yeah, but you remember what she was like before. She was a mess. You might say that guy Roland was manipulating her but she let him do it. She was so weak and directionless. She didn't know right from wrong."

"Annabelle is different now."

"Is she really." It wasn't a question.

"I am not sure what you mean."

"Is she still using drugs, Temo? An addict can't change who they are. Something in their brain turned them into a user. Some nightmare they couldn't escape. A person can't just swap out their mind like a new engine in a car. It doesn't work that way. Tell me honestly. Have you seen her going back to her old habits?"

I knew I couldn't lie to Marcus. He was too smart. He would detect a lie and I'd end up looking like an idiot.

"If you tell her, she won't trust me ever again," I said.

"I am not going to say anything, Temo. I am asking because I love her and I want to know the truth. If she stops trusting you then no one wins."

"She was tempted. I found her hiding drugs once. I confronted her. We threw it out together. She hasn't been using since. I know. I've been checking."

"My God, Temo. I don't know how to thank you."

"I am not really doing it. It's all her. She is trying to figure out how her mind works like the rest of us. Memories are like triggers. Sometimes a ghost rises up from the past. But if you can shine some light on what you're thinking, the ghost doesn't seem so scary."

"The work gives her a sense of mission. That's what she needs, Temo. That's what everyone needs."

"Yeah, she helped me with that too. I had no mission whatsoever when she found me. She helped me get back on track."

"Is she in a relationship now, Temo?"

"I don't think so. She doesn't have time."

"What about you and her?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean."

"Your daughter deserves someone better than me. She's a star just like you. I am a nobody."

"You're not a nobody, and you're not a star either. That's why you're perfect. She doesn't need a star. She needs a good person."

"I am not a good person."

"Bullshit. Why wouldn't you want my daughter? She's smart. She's gorgeous. What are you gay or something? Is that the real reason you're wife divorced you?"

"No. The thing is I am not divorced. I am still married."

"Your wife threw you out. You've got to move on. What's your angle?"

"I don't know if I can explain it, Mr. Davis. I am flattered you would think of me with your daughter. Maybe if things were different. But I am still married now. It's bad now but I've got to see it through."

"I don't get it," he said.

"I didn't think you would."

I couldn't really explain my angle. Marcus wouldn't understand. He was different from me. He had at least three wives and loved them all in his own way. If a marriage was going badly and his wife had already started on with someone else, he wouldn't hesitate at a chance for a fresh start with the enchanting daughter of a billionaire. That was the obvious thing to do. Not just for him, but most men.

It was different for me. I was a bit of a freak. My mind was still captive to this vision of my destiny, some idea my mother whispered in my ear as a young child.

In my vision, I was meant to be with Suzy and Reina. I might adore Annabelle, like any man in his right mind, but I wasn't stupid. I knew you couldn't give your heart to everyone. You have to choose one path over another.

I had to bet everything on the hope of getting Suzy back. It was a high stakes wager and it might never happen. But if it did, the rewards were infinite: The chance to be a constant in my wife's life and grow old together with her. The chance to be the father I never had. No other risk I ever took could bring such rewards. Sometimes you only get one shot to follow your intuition.