The Voting Machine

A Normal Man

The next morning Suzy and I met at Wilson Park off of Crenshaw between Carson and Sepulveda. I hadn't seen Reina in a couple months and sure enough, she was transformed into someone completely different.

She was crawling and trying to push herself upright. I held her arms as she stood on wobbly knees, savoring the view from a standing position before she collapsed to the ground and eagerly tried all over again.

I couldn't help but think that she'd already be walking freely if I'd been a part of her life for the past two months. It was sad to think about each day lost. I spoke to my wife with a heightened sense of urgency.

"Suzy, I want to come back home. I am not the same person who yelled at you and crashed the car. That was a blip. It's like a demon got inside my head. Please give me another chance."

"I don't know," she replied.

"Suzy, how can you not know? You can't tell me all the good things we had don't count for anything."

"Temo, I know you got hit with many things at once. I believe that's what put the demon inside your head. I know your friend Gina died and you felt responsible."

"I was being stupid. She died on the other side of the world. There's nothing anyone could've done."

"All I know is the way she died changed your thinking," she said. "It changed my thinking, too."

"What do you mean?"

"It was so fast. She didn't deserve it. I realized how quickly anyone of us could lose our life for no reason. Even me."

"Not you, Suzy."

"Even me, Temo. Death could take anyone of us. It's the most powerful thing. It's like the Mexicans talk about Santa Muerte. She has the longest arms in the world. She can touch anyone she wants. We have to accept that. Now that Reina is born, that's the pressure I face. I have to make every choice like life depends on it. Not just my life, but her life too."

"What are you saying? You're afraid that I am a bad choice?"

"Temo, you're not like other people. Life is pulling you in a different direction. And you follow that pull. You let it take you there because something inside you knows you have a part to play. You follow the pull because you know that it's your destiny."

"I don't understand."

"It's like when we met at the restaurant, Temo. You knew it was dangerous to fall in love with me. Yet you took the risk. You found a way to save me. You got in trouble and lost your job. You could've lost much worse than that."

"Then when you went to Passion, you were the only one who tried to help the other workers like Gina, Olivia, Ned, and Jaime. You tried to help them even when it wasn't the smart thing to do, even when it wasn't in your best interest. That's why they gave you the award, because you tried to help when nobody else did. Now you are getting involved in politics. You are reaching out to strangers, trying to change the mess of the history and make a better world. A normal man doesn't get involved in this stuff, Temo. But you are not a normal man. That's why I love you and admire you. But that's also why I am scared to share a life with you."

"Suzy, I want to be normal. The things I want to do, I want to do them for us. I didn't choose to go to Las Vegas and work on the election. It was the only way I could get out from jail."

"I know you didn't choose it. That's my point. Maybe you were chosen. Maybe this was God's plan all along, to put you out there helping strangers, being part of history. Maybe his plan was never to keep us together forever."

"But I love you, Suzy. And you love me, too. I know it."

"Even if we love each other, we are different. The love brings us together but the difference keeps up separate. I don't know if we can get past that."

Reina fell asleep under the tree where we were talking. Birds chirped and a cool breeze blew in from the sea. It was the kind of beautiful, timeless moment you dream about spending with you are family when you are broken and alone. Underneath this perfect façade, I could feel my heart being ripped to shreds.

"Temo, there is something else I have to tell you," she said. "There is someone I met, a man who loves me. A man who wants to take care of me."

"What? Who is he?"

"It doesn't matter who he is. He is not like you. He doesn't get pulled into these adventures. He is a normal man."

"Do I know him?"

"It doesn't matter."

"That means yes. I don't want to get a divorce, Suzy. I can't believe you've given up. I can't believe you don't love me anymore."

"Love doesn't matter. I told you that. It isn't even something that's good for you."

"You don't believe that."

"Temo, I want you to go back to Las Vegas. I am asking you. Please."

"You're making a mistake, Suzy. You and I are meant for each other. We are meant to be Reina's parents. If I'm not meant to be a normal man, then you are not meant to be a normal woman. Whatever path I am on, God didn't call me to walk it alone. He wanted us to go together."

"How can you be so sure, Temo?"

"Because I can hear that call, Suzy. I know I am right. The demon is out of my head and I can think clearly now. I know we're meant to be together."

"Just go back to Las Vegas. It's the safest thing. We can't take any chances now. Life is too short."

"You can send me away, Suzy. But I know I am right. I am not going to forget about you and Reina. I am coming back again for you. You have to give us another chance. In time you will realize we're meant for each other just like I did."