letters from lou - l.s. CANCELLED

"what did I do!"

Louis's POV

his sparkling green eyes. his soft lips. his gentle hands. his luscious hair.

"is it really you?" he asked. I nodded and grinned.

"I missed you." I said. but staring into those green eyes, the demons came. they took over my brain like they did weeks ago.

hell for me was arising and I spoke again.

"I hate you!"

"Louis? what did I do!"

"get out of here!" I screamed.

he would lead me to disrespect and loneliness and helplessness.

"Lou, c'mon the boy just got here!what is going on?" my gran said.

Harry was crying.

"you loser! you're crying about me. grow up, you baby! I see in those eyes you are empty and I refuse for you to use me to fill you. get out of my life, you devil."

"I had no idea you felt that way," he sniffled. shaking his head, he mumbled something.

the feeling went away. I felt guilt and disgust with myself.

"I, i don't know what-"

"goodbye louis. I guess, I mean, I am going to uni now. good luck. I will always love you, even though the monsters took you too." he said.

"Harry I am so sorry. you have no idea about the pain and anxiety and everything is never right."

"no. it's okay. I need to go be independent. I'll never see you again anyway. this was worthless. all of it."

"Harry please stop!"

"goodbye, louis. i guess I hate you too..." he left the store.

"you're an asshole. definitely your father,.." my gran said.

I can't believe what I had just done. I pushed away my only friend. the only one who accepted me. the only one I loved. and I pushed him away.

the demons were pushing them for me. they said i would be safe with them.

they said they would teach me.

I was wrong.

I made such a mistake.

he was gone.

he was so gone.

I don't know what to do.
----
(1 month later)

I can't write the letters anymore. Harry never responded for the past month. I still tell him everything and how much I love and miss him. he hurt me. he caused these demons. if he never had mentioned anything to me, we would be happy. WE.

boy was I wrong. he was awful. he guided me right to hell. and my choices and actions and feelings and my life. I hate harry.

unfortunately. every time I think about him, I cants find something to hate. I love him! for the past month, I've been lost, dazed, confused, some say evil.

and I will always blame him, the love of my life.

💢💢💢💢💢
Sorry about the like six month wait for this short, crap chapter. I actually don't know how many people were waiting for this update. Do you guys still think I exist lol. Well, spring break is this week so I will try to update more. I'm so sorry.

Kelsey