Sinking

scenario

~~hey that's my pic with tyler from 3 weeks ago it was soososoososo great we got there at 2 and met and hugged our internet friends im not gonna write the whole story but it was unforgettable and literally the best night of my life so here's this chapter for you:

That night was spent discussing books with Phil and allowing my mood to become a bit more lightheartened.

We were in a bookstore, so having a discussion about the books we liked and disliked seemed plausible while we were surrounded by them. It was comforting, sitting beside Phil on our stools in the cozy warmth of the store and rambling on about literature. Most of the time I used sign language, but every once in a while I would say a sentence out loud. I think I was becoming more content with speaking, but it may have been because the person I was speaking to was Phil. Around others, however, if I attempted to open my mouth I could feel a fist wrapped around my vocal cords causing me to freeze in fear and return to my safe way of speaking: my hands.

Phil still acted indifferent on the topic of me talking though, which I appreciated. He hid his surprise when I spoke, and accepted it when I didn't.

Personally, I didn't want my thoughts to be focused on my speaking habits. I wanted Phil to tell me the scenario of his life. I wanted him to trust me enough to let me know what was going on so that I wasn't standing alone in the dark for so long.

He wasn't entitled to letting me know, however. So for now I would support him while supporting my own life and possibly getting him to trust me more.

PJ came by to speak with us a couple times, but I was pretty sure he tried to avoid the general area as much as possible now that Phil was here; he knew that Chris was Phil's best friend. I knew Phil wouldn't make anything awkward by talking about him, but PJ didn't, I guess.

That shift went by quickly, considering there were more customers now that it was Friday, and Phil kept my wandering mind occupied with thoughts of our random likes and dislikes.

"Let's see..." He began his statement after I'd just told him that a thing I liked was Nick Jonas. He'd argued that Nick was not a thing in the context we were considering, but I'd won all together by saying that our ship name was Dick, throwing him into a shortly sustained stunned silence. "I don't like cheese."

My eyes bulged out of my head. Cheese?! How can you not like cheese? Are you okay?

He laughed, "IT'S DISGUSTING, DAN."

I rolled my eyes. Next you're going to say puppies are disgusting, too. A life without cheese is not a life worth living!

He rolled his eyes as well, but with a smile on his face so contagious I couldn't resist additionally allowing the corners of my mouth to turn up.

"Okay," Phil continued, "what about-"

He was interrupted by PJ coming around the corner. He looked at us, startled. "You two are still here? Dan, you realize your shift ended, like, forty minutes ago." I looked down at my phone and confirmed this, the time reading 8:43 PM. I guess I'd gotten so caught up in talking with Phil that the time had completely passed my mind.

You ready to go? I signed at Phil, and he nodded, standing up and grabbing his bag as I did the same before reaching over and taking my hand into his.

"Bye, Dan-and-Phil-who-claim-to-not-be-dating-but-show-many-signs-that-contradict-that!" PJ shouted after us, causing my cheeks to alight with fresh flames, although neither Phil or I removed our hands as I used my free one to wave goodbye to PJ.

As we headed back in the dark, Phil began explaining in vivid detail a story of a dream he'd had where a dentist had sewn his mouth shut. I always loved when Phil would ramble, even if I wasn't always listening fully it was still nice to have his voice talking to me and to hear his excitement over the smallest of things.