Second Chances | Luke Hemmings

Second Chances pt. 6

Your eyes narrowed at Luke, while his feet shuffled in place. "So you're telling me it's my fault you cheated?" Honestly, in that moment you just wanted to laugh in Luke's face. It sounded so ridiculous – his explanation and the reason behind the most horrible thing he's ever done.

"No!" Luke shook his head, taking a step towards you. "Everything was my fault. I take full responsibility and I'm so sorry I ever even thought of doing that. I never wanted to hurt you," although Luke's frame stood tall in front of you, you saw his pupils dilate with genuine sorrow swimming in his eyes, his head cocked to the side ever so slightly and he seemed like a much bigger version of Theo, when he's sad his dad didn't come visit him on Christmas. Your maternal instincts were screaming in your head to hug him and kiss his forehead gently and brush his hair until he fell asleep in your embrace.

"I still don't understand," you spoke softly, going against every instinct and every cell of your body screaming you to hold him. "Why did you cheat?"

Luke felt himself get a little frustrated with your calmness – once again he felt like you were underreacting and he just wanted to hear your angry screams at him, he wanted to feel your hot palms attempting to hurt him by hitting his chest, anger radiating off of you, your whole body trembling with unbearable passion.

He ran a hand through his hair with a short and heavy sigh. "I wanted to see what it's like to be with someone who feels drive and passion toward me, I don't know. I never meant for it to be continuous or anything, I just wanted to flirt with her a little and that's it."

Luke's eyes were focused on something away from you, like he was too ashamed to look you in the eye. You felt your heart slam against your ribs, your eyes slowly dwelling with tears, as you softly spoke, "How did it become more than just flirting with her, then?"

"I don't know," he sighed, tucking on his hair frustrated. "I don't know, Y/N," he shook his head, his eyes still unable to meet yours. "I don't – I have no idea, I didn't plan it, I don't know!" he suddenly shouted, outraged at his own helplessness.

You didn't even feel when tears started rolling down your cheeks, your mind too busy racing a million miles a minute. Luke finally looked up at you and you could actually see his heart breaking, the pain reflecting perfectly in his glassy blues. "I'm so sorry," he whispered quietly, looking you straight in the eye. "I'm so, so sorry." The silent atmosphere of the room made the sound of a heartbeat in your ears ever so loud.

"Sorry doesn't fix anything," you spoke up, sudden rush of anger flowing through your body. "Sorry doesn't change the fact that you completely broke me. Sorry doesn't make me feel better about myself, sorry doesn't erase the past 5 years from my memory. Sorry's not good enough, Luke!"

Luke's tall frame seemed to slump a bit after every word you said and his usually intimidating stance seemed so little in the moment your eyes burned into his, your fists clenching tightly by your sides, the anger you've held for five years gushing out little by little. He felt a cold shiver run down his spine, as he shook his head with teary eyes, "I know, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I wish I could change it all," he whispered, watching you.

Your breathing was shallow and shaky and your whole body was trembling with pain, trying to hold back another wave of hot tears that were already spilling out of your eyes. "I hated myself, I thought it was my fault. I thought you stopped loving me because of me," you spilled. You thought it was your fault that your marriage didn't last; you thought you did something that made Luke want to find someone new and you thought you weren't worthy of loving. But you also hated Luke. You hated how even after your split he still had so much control over you, how he made you doubt yourself and how the lack of his love for you made you not want to love yourself, too.