Who am I now?

2. It's Confirmed, I'm a Weirdo

I woke that day to my alarm. The repetitive blaring of an electronic buzzer made my head ache from tiredness. I had just fell asleep, it seemed, before the alarm signalled the beginning of a very stressful day. How stressful it would really be was still a mystery to me then.

Sitting up, the room was blurry through my sleep filled eyes and they burned at the sight of light.

Once i prepared for the day, dressed that is as I was nowhere near ready for what the day would throw at me, I walked to the dining area where i met up with my family and Carson. Everyone was already placed and eating when i sat down with my food. Scrambled eggs, bacon and sausage. The typical breakfast in Dauntless.

"Tardy for breakfast, tardy the rest of the day. You need to shape up if you're to properly perform in your aptitude test." Kaiden said, not even lifting his eyes off his plate.

That's where Kaiden and I differed. He was very strict with his faction while i couldn't find my place. He took training very seriously and never let the slightest mistake slide. Sometimes i wondered how we were even related. Sure we had different dads but neither of us grew up with them.

"I'm sorry. My personality changes so easily when I'm late. They may think I'm divergent or something!" I mocked, barely able to handle my brother's seriousness.

"Hey! Divergence is nothing to joke about!" Kaiden spoke in a stressed whisper, hoping no one heard. "You know what they do to people that don't fit in."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, yes. I know what they do to well rounded people."

"That's not who they punish."

"No. You're right. They kill people for who they are and leave their families to suffer. They are the ones who are punished."

"Enough!" My mother cut in. "Both of you, cut it out. I will have no more of this talk do you understand?"

"Yes mom." We said simultaneously.

Looking at my food, I could see my mother and Carson out of the corner of my eye. Both were focused on their food. Come to think of it, they were that way during the entire argument and only then did my mom react when our voices began rising. I had the strangest feeling that there was something they knew. Something they weren't telling me.

After our breakfast, we returned to our rooms where we would begin preparing for the test. I sat in front of the mirror, looking myself up and down, wondering who i actually was.

My black hair was highlighted with natural red streaks and fell in ringlets down to the middle of my large chest. My hair was much longer than the other girls in Dauntless but i refused to cut it. I would put it up in a bun when fighting but never cut it. The dark colour of my hair made my pale face seem even whiter. My grey-green eyes were full of curiosity and imagination. The eyes of a child.

As for height, I was about average, standing at 5'6" and my body curved in an hourglass shape and was fairly toned. Muscle didn't show much on my body but when you fought me you could tell i had some.

But what good was my appearance when I didn't know who I was on the inside? I didn't feel like i belonged in Dauntless. Did I belong anywhere? Sure I could keep up with the other Dauntless people and didn't take a second thought when faced with a challenge, but it just didn't feel right. I hoped I would find my place that day. I hoped they would show me the way.

A knock on the door snapped me out of my trance and I turned to see my mother walk in.

"Hi," she said in a gentle tone.

"Hi," I replied.

"Are you all ready?"

"I think so." Was I? Was I ever going to be ready? This would be the day where we would find out where we fit in. If we fit in.