Zach and Abby

6. - Edited

Abby - Edited

Today was probably the best day I've had in a long time. My mornings would now be spent with Zach Green; that's something to be pretty damn excited about. And now that we got passed that awkward 'I don't have a boyfriend,' I can't help but imagine someday we'll be more than friends. But then again, I'm imagining it, never in my wildest dreams do I expect it to become reality.

And that's when the part of me that is scared as hell makes an appearance. If somewhere down the road, we become something more than whatever we are now, there's this invisible pressure not to lose him. If I do happen to lose him – given we become more – that will be it and I know it will be my breaking point. Growing up and experiencing things the way I did doesn't make me a very stable person when it comes to loving someone. I can't have another person who means something to me walk away and leave.

I decided on my way back to my dorm after my last class that the game plan was to get to know Zach better. It sounded like the best and most rational way to approach my pathetic high school feelings that were making a reappearance. Slow, I told myself even though everything was just in my head, I would take this slow.

After I showered and hate whatever junk I found around the small kitchenette, I settled into my bed to begin the foreign history assignment due next class. I knew it had something to do with Napoleon and France but honestly, it all sounded extremely and mind-numbingly boring to me.

As if they knew, the moment I picked up my pen to get some work done, someone felt the need to knock on the door. This was the second time today and I don't ever remember being this popular before. We rarely had someone knock; even Austin just barged right in when he wanted to.

"You're getting that!" Bridget shouted from the bathroom across the hall. I didn't respond for I was way ahead of her, already outside my room and walking towards the door.

She wasn't a bad roommate, I guess. She cleaned up after herself and pretty much ignored me, but the main difference between us was she was a partier. Almost every night, it was a different tight, short dress and heels made for strippers as she walked out of the house, throwing me a lame 'I'll be back later' on her way out. Usually, I heard her come home around three in the morning which most often times woke me up, but aside from that, she wasn't much to complain about.

We weren't ever friends, but I didn't care to much about that either.

Another knock sounded, making me pick up my pace and jog to open the door. I didn't understand the rush, but the moment I opened the door, I felt like I should have bolted to it the moment the first knock hit the door.

"Uh, hey," Zach smiled, running a hand through his hair before putting it back in his pocket. I wasn't speechless, I just couldn't speak. My mind was too preoccupied worry what he would think about my outfit of sweatpants and old t-shirt.

"Hi," I said, hoping I didn't sound as breathless as I thought I had. "What are you, uh, what's up?"

"Nothing much," he shrugged, but then didn't say anything else. I felt like because he showed up here, he should be the one talking so I just stood there, holding onto the door for balance and looking at him with a look I didn't even want to think about. It was probably a mix between lost puppy and lust-driven teenage girl.

When he was still silent, I subtly made a move to close the door when his hand reached out to gently stop it. That must have made him realize that he needed to talk now.

"Well, I'm here because I forgot to right down the history assignment today," he explained making my hopes that it was something different die off slowly. It was more of a reality check but I didn't want to think about that right now.