Zach and Abby

43.

Abby - February

"Alright, I'll see you then," I said in place of a goodbye before clicking the end button and shoving the phone into my pocket. I readjusted my backpack so its weight was now all on my left shoulder and I would have done it quite gracefully, had the bag not been unzipped.

Great start to this already horrible day. And in less than second, it turned ten times worse.

"Here, let me help," he offered crouching down to a height that still towered over me. I picked up one notebook while he managed to pick up five in one hand. I muttered a thanks, not making eye contact before zipping the freaking bag that just had to make this day even more awkward.

"Happy Valentines Day, class," our history teacher called after waltzing into the class at exactly nine o'clock. While she started some speech about the history of today, I rushed towards the seat that had become my usual perch over this last month.

From this seat, I had a good view of the teacher, but also of him. His soft hair that I remember running my hands through, his muscles that flexed when he was writing or reaching for something.

God, this was becoming unhealthy.

My grades were noticeably dropping ever since that awful day in the hospital a little over four weeks ago. Most of my time was spent watching Zach in the classes we shared. And when he wasn't in the same room, I couldn't concentrate on anything. Either the homework reminded me of him or someone said something that made me miss him. Which ever it was, it only made me rethink my decision more.

But I couldn't speak for him. Sure, for the first few days, it was awkward and I would catch him looking at me sometimes. But after that, it stopped. He wasn't trying to catch me before or after class, he wasn't smiling when we accidentally made eye contact. He wasn't giving messages for Austin to tell me.

It was almost as if he had ended it, not me.

And that killed me. It hurt so bad that he was visibly able to move on so quickly. The only thing that keeps all the pain tolerable, is something deep down is telling me he's still falling apart on the inside. Austin has told me Zach hasn't gone out or really been seen with anyone besides the football guys or Austin. It helps a little to know he hasn't physically moved on.

Yet.

I glanced at the clock and was saying a silent thank you because we only had five more minutes. I was seriously considering skipping Spanish just so I didn't have see the only person I would want to spend my Valentines Day with.

But before I could actually skip that class, this one had to end. And my professor is a talker. She decided to finish class five minutes early so she could hear about holiday plans. Awesome.

A few couples in the class shared about the romantic dinner they were going to have tonight, and a senior even shared that he was proposing to his girlfriend tonight but we had to promised not to tell her. I should've clapped along with the rest of the class, but my only movement was tears silently falling down my cheeks.

As the discussion continued, people repeatedly said they were attending the big party on campus down at the football field. And that was when it happened.

The person next to me raised his hand and began talking, so naturally all the heads turned to watch him. Zach's included.

This was the first eye contact we had made in about three weeks. And I could feel that since it had been so long, neither side wanted to look away. Whether it did or didn't, the rest of the class seemed to fall silent and fade into oblivion. Total cliche, but it was like we were the only people on earth. And his stare was filled with so much lust and love that a very small part of me wanted to run up and kiss the life out of him.