I Was, I Am.

-TRAINEE ME-

EDITED CHAPTER#7

I tapped my foot on the floor impatiently as I waited for a response to my email sent to SENSES Pvt. Ltd. I had been added to an online group of trainees which had had an announcement stating, our work schedules had been mailed to us. I had not received mine yet.

Meanwhile, I scrolled through the list of unknown contacts on the group and studied the display pictures of those that were visible to me. I tried to ignore the sinking feeling at the pit of my stomach as I realized that they all looked much younger than me.

Ten minutes after I had shot my query mail, I received a response. It stated that my work schedule would be handed over to me the following day.

Strange.

Forcing myself to stop stressing about the work schedule, I pushed my trail of thoughts elsewhere.

The last one month in my office as a CA consisted of too many curious questions and a lot of prying. People never forgot to give me their expert opinions and pass judgemental comments on my 'stupidity'; even my boss seemed taken aback when I informed him what company I was joining with which post. Ignoring them was not that difficult, because I couldn't care less.

I was out of the luckiest people on Earth who not only got an opportunity to change her career paths but was also financially capable of doing so.

Papa still had a good five years of service left before he retired, which gave me the liberty to work for a meagre pay because Papa and I jointly handled the familial financial requirements. It would be impossible for me to leave my job in GenEx had he already retired. Five years; that was my ultimatum to my own self. I was going to give myself exactly five years to prove my worth to SENSES.

***

"All the best beta." Ma and Papa said as Ma shoved some dahi(curd) into my mouth. Apparently, having curd before we start something important is auspicious. Don't even ask me what connection any of the two have. But I'm pretty sure every household has their own set of superstitions they believe in.

For my house, this was one of them.

Papa was keen on letting me take his car to the office at least on my first day of work and literally no amount of denying seemed to work.

And so I stepped out of my house with the car keys; feeling more independent than I really was.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't mind driving his car at all, it was just that little acts like these reminded me where I stood professionally. At twenty five, most of my colleagues had moved out of their homes and were already doing fairly well for themselves.

I on the other hand, couldn't see myself anywhere near that stage.

Of course, if I would've continued my job at GenEx this wouldn't be the case, but at this crucial juncture of life where I'd taken a leap of faith for my passion, I really needed financial support from my parents.

It felt comforting in some ways. But in other ways, it made me guilty and question my competence.

Just to make sure I didn't hurt the old man's sentiments, I kept my insecurities aside and flashing a smile at my parents, agreed to drive Papa's car without any debates or discussions.

I had no intentions of getting this depressed early in the morning, especially when I needed to look more confident than ever. But I couldn't help it.

My drive to Nariman Point seemed to be going pretty uneventful. I mechanically steered the wheel, changed the gears and hit the brake in short intervals because of the oh so famous Mumbai traffic which made me think I would probably reach sooner had I sprinted all the way.