Dirty Gold ✓ [bxb]

Chapter 31 - Deeper

Took a mild exam break and came back to 10k votes! Argh! I love you guys so much! Best readers on the planet! Now enjoy this overdue update  :)

"I never asked if you had plans for Christmas." I said to Axel once we had reached home. We left the hospital about thirty minutes ago after the doctor told Spencer that he could be released the next day since he didn't have any other serious concerns apart from his broken arm.

Martin told him that he was a on strict fruit and veg diet once he got home and wouldn't hesitate to smack him if he tried anything other than rest. Spencer tried to look somber at the sight of his fiance acting all bossy but I'm sure we all could see the admiration in his eyes. They were truly perfect for each other. And I guess that anyone could see that.

Axel paused in the middle of taking off his jacket "Well, is there anything you'd like us to do especially? I usually just spend Chrismas with my father and Spencer's parents."

Somehow I felt a little weird, as though he'd forgotten me somewhere in between. But the more logical part of myself had realized that with everything going on, he probably had forgotten about Chrismas plans and that was why he didn't tell me anything about his.

"Do you have any plans?" He asked after I was silent for a while. I sat at the edge of the bed. "Um my mom wants me to come home for Chrismas. Normally I'd think it was useless since we all spend Chrismas at my grandmother's house with my extended family and hardly anyone there is really fond of me anymore."

That was the way it had been for years. "But for some reason she really wants me to come."

My boyfriend tossed his shirt into the hamper and was silent for a while. "Kendall?"

"Yeah?" I answered biting my bottom lip.

He curled his lip "Would you like me to go with you, to see your mother?"

Ok I had really not been expecting that. At all. I didn't realize that my mouth had been open until he chuckled softly "Is the idea that horrible to you? You look like you're going into shock."

I blinked and looked back at my worried but amused boyfriend and smiled as brightly as I could muster. "No I'm just surprised. I didn't think you'd want to."

Axel shrugged "Well it's important to you so of course I would. That's only if you really want me there and think it's absolutely necessary for me to come."

I went on my tip toes and kissed him right on the lips "You're perfect you know that?"

He smiled but I could see the doubt in his eyes "Not perfect. But for you I want to just try my very best."

I kissed him again "Well to me you are the best."

Axel laid down on the bed bringing me along with him so my head rested right on his left pectoral. "So what are you going to do about Mara?"

I fluttered my eyes trying my best to ignore whatever familiar emotions would run through me when I was reminded about her "My sister?"

"Not your sister. Mara." He stressed the last part which confused me until it clicked.

Axel breathed out "Forgive me, but I have a hard time convincing myself that she's your sister after all she's done to you. So I can hardly see her as your family."

He sounded as though he expected me to be annoyed with him. I sat up straddling his thighs "I understand what you mean. The sad truth is that we were both born by the same parents and biology can't be altered." I smiled a bit sadly "Pity you can't chose your own family."

Axel sat up with me still straddling him. He leaned back on the headboard and looked at me directly in the eyes "But you can. Spencer, Martin and Shorty are all my family. I've chosen them and they've chosen me. Family is born of love Kendall, not of biology."

The truth in his words were absorbed into my mind. I smiled at him "I'm sorry. You're totally right."

He stroked my thighs "Don'tbe sorry. And of course I'm totally right." He said the last part in a ridiculous mock American accent just to tease me. I laughed into his neck wrapping my arms around it "You're completely ridiculous."

Axel didn't reply and held me back too making me sigh inwardly in the comfort which I only seemed to find in his arms. Everyday it seemed that we got more and more intimate. Compared to when we had first started, subtle touches, warm caresses and kisses had become a normal occurrence between the two of us. The former me would be have probably chastened myself for this new ridiculous need to be petted and touched by my boyfriend every time we were near. But now I didn't see anything ridiculous in wanting to be closer to him or revel more in his presence. For the better part of nineteen years I had learned to hold myself. It seemed like it was finally time to let someone hold me.

Our quiet moment was interrupted by Axel's phone beeping to indicate that he had received a text. He managed to fish the phone from his suit pocket and read it before sighing and flinging the phone away.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

Axel closed his eyes "A message from Detective Palin."

My heart skipped "What did he say?"

"They've had no real leads as they've realized that Mara may have been using different identies to travel around. He also said that Interpol has made the case airtight and that the only thing he's been able to find out is that she's got more than one debtor on her tail and all of them have notorious reputations." He replied as I got off his lap to lay beside him.

I sighed scrubbing my hands over my face "Goodness, I don't even know what to feel anymore. I'm just confused about what to even thjnk next."

Axel turned on his side to face me and cupped my cheek "It's going to be fine. They're going to find her. They've promised that they'll do everything in their power to find her."

I wondered how on earth they would even start. Even at a young age Mara had always been a smart one, dodging punishments and turning the blame on anyone she could. Mostly me really. They would then have to investigate deeper and harder. Then I realized something.

"They've got some information on her. That means that they'll know those closest to her like her family. They're probably going to ask my mom or something." I said with my eyes widened. That wasn't how I wanted my mom to find out about her daughter. Strangers barging in and showing her unfamiliar things about the little girl she thought she had raised well would break her heart into two. I at least owed it to my mother to let her hear it from me instead and not someone else. To prepare her better.

"That's why you've got to tell her Ken." Axel said stroking my cheek. I closed my eyes "I know."

He kissed my forehead "And I'll be right there. Not letting you do it alone. "

Warmth flushed thorough me "I know."

Suddenly my mind flashed back to the incidents of the day. Spencer's accident and the way Martin had looked so destroyed when he thought the man he loved was gone from him. I didn't want to imagine myself in his shoes with the thought of Axel being taken away from me lingering in my mind.

The bedroom was dark and I could see the orange tinges in the sky through the window as the sun began to set.

"Axel?"

"Yes love?"

"Never leave me."

"Not even death love."

I missed my boys so much! Sorry it's a bit short but my brain has been filled with Chemistry and Math for the past few weeks and my creative juices are yet to come to their full potential once again.

Zoe.