Michelle

Things We Said Today

It had only been three days since Paul had left for Blackpool, and I was already missing him like crazy.
At times like these, I'd go pay George a visit, yet George was also gone.
And what was worse, Emily was in bed with flu, and mother was out, so I was once again left solitarily, in my empty, lonesome home, with not a single person to talk to.

With the cogs turning in my mind, I came to the decision of meeting up with one of my newer, more uneasy friends. Lizzie. And organised to meet up with her in Penny Lane for some last minute Christmas shopping, as Christmas lurked closer and closer, and so did Paul's return, which was what I'd most been looking forward to.
Though he really hadn't been gone for very long, I truly did miss him dearly, as we didn't usually spend so long apart. Fortunately, I only had three more days to get through, which meant I'd officially past the half way mark.

"Two teas please." Smiled Lizzie, as the waiter scribbled down our orders into his little, black notebook.

"Thank you." I added sweetly, as he left, ripping out the page from his notebook to hand to the barista behind the counter.

We were at a cosy, peaceful cafe in a desolate area of Penny Lane, decorated to match the Christmas festivities inside and out, with scented candles lit on every table, the sparkling shimmer of tinsel hanging from the cream walls, and the multitude of Christmas decorations hung from end to end of the room.

"So how are you coping without your significant other." Teased Lizzie, very much like a friend would, which was strange considering our history.

"I'm doing alright." I sighed, watching the glistening flakes of snow dance through the window to outside, wishing Paul were here to watch with me. "It's been lonely though, I'm not going to lie."

"Ahh...The McCartney Blues." She whistled, pinning her blonde locks behind her ears. "I know it well."

It was nice to see Lizzie had regained her flawless completion once more, despite my envy of her, it was overwhelming to see the impact forgiveness had upon people; such a simple act of kindness could nurse someone back to health so easily. It was also interesting to have a friend who'd had history with Paul, as we could discuss common similarities and differences, making it easier to connect. Paul was a good ice breaker for conversations starters or when things became awkward between us.

"I'm glad we put everything behind us Lizzie." I smiled. "I never knew how nice you were."

"Well I wasn't nice." She laughed sourly, resting her chin in her palms. "I really learned my lesson."

"And look at what that's done for you." I cried encouragingly, knocking her shoulder playfully with my fist.

"It's still doesn't fix everything I did." She sighed.

"Which we put in the past!" I reminded her optimistically. "Forgive and forget, ay?"

She nodded slightly, her head still resting in her palms much like a child. 

"Two teas." Intruded the waiter, setting down our steamy drinks.

"Thank you." I beamed.

Lizzie stirred her tea silently, refraining from looking me in the eye. Something was definitely bothering her.

"What's wrong?" I finally asked her considerately, pouring the jug milk into our elegant, china teacups.

"It's nothing much." She pouted, dropping the cubes of white sugar into her cup one by one.

"Is it Paul?" I asked, afraid she was still to get over him.

She shook her head, her eyes never leaving the bowl of sugar cubes, of which she kept picking at.

"I'm sorry if you feel like I took him away from you, I mean, I understand now that you could really have-" I babbled apologetically.

"It's not Paul." She snapped, tossing a sugar cube back into the bowl. "In fact it's quite the opposite."

"Ronnie?" I winced, recollecting the way she'd whined at merely the sound of his name just last Wednesday before French class.

She scrunched up her face again, tears welling in her eyes.

"He...he dumped me last week." She snivelled, biting her lip firmly.

When she'd been outcasted...

"He wasn't worth it if he wasn't going to stick by you through thick and thin." I mollified her, rubbing her shoulder comfortingly. "You were really hung up on him huh?"

She nodded again solemnly, wiping the tear away from her eye with much delicacy, careful not to smudge her mascara.

"Be brutally honest." I gulped, almost afraid for her to speak the answer I anticipated so. "How long had you been going out with him?"

She straightened herself up again, brushing my hand from her arm, trying to rehabilitate herself.

"If you want to know if it was still during my time with Paul." She sighed, regaining stability. "Yes, I cheated on him."

Her honesty was very shocking, as she spoke so bluntly yet was so direct. Not a single hint of denial or bending of the truth, just straight out with it.

"Well I'm not going to beat around the bush." She laughed lightheartedly, having noticed my state of shock, wiping her eye once more with her finger. "I did some bad things, and I owe Paul an apology."

Yet, Paul was still oblivious to such things she'd done to him, making her apology utterly useless.

Despite all honesty, which, from Lizzie, was very much appreciated, I still had one burning question to ask.

"Why?" I burst, unable to surpress it any longer. "Why did you cheat on Paul if you were already happy with Ronnie?"

She took a sip of her tea, grimacing at how sweet it tasted, which was no surprise as she'd gotten so very carried away with the sugar cubes.

"Because," she said, taking a deep breath to prepare herself. "I was jealous."

"Jealous?" I asked her.

"Yes." She nodded. "Of you."

"Me?" I gasped, my jaw almost dropping to the floor in astonishment.

The golden girl, with the luscious locks, curvy figure, and flawless completion was jealous of a mediocre, scrawny, brunette like me.

"But why?" I stuttered, unable to comprehend such information.

"Because you made Paul so happy." She smiled in a sort of melancholy way, her crystal blue eyes shimmering dolefully. "And I felt inferior compared to you Michelle. It was as though he'd already forgotten about me once he found you. He never looked at me the way he'd look at you. Which was quite perplexing and frustrating, yet fascinating to watch."

'..this means she feels threatened by you...' Rang George's words of reassurance through my mind, words of which felt so long ago, as he was now so far away.

"So of course, I became uncontrollably jealous, and ended up throwing everything away." She chuckled bitterly, playing wistfully with the locks of hair dangling over her face.

"Not everything." I smiled.

She looked up from her tea, finally looking me in the eye, her lips curling at the ends to form a subtle grin.

"I suppose one good thing came out of it all." She laughed, her spirits rising.