Swimming to the Light (Southern Vampire Mystery)

Chapter 10 - The Blue Water Beyond

Sookie woke up today in the bed she now thought of as her own. Not her own in a permanent way. She felt the bed was her own in a way that made it okay to fall into the pillow and pillow top and from there to fall further into untroubled, deep sleep. Some nights she still woke up shaking and covered in cold sweat. She could almost catch pictures from those times; pictures of pain and screaming. But mostly she just remembered the fear. Those nights were fewer now.

Sookie still wasn't completely certain where she was. She knew there were guards. She knew that the household probably belonged to vampires. As she grew stronger; more present, she found herself tentatively reaching out with her mind to find who was around her. She could sense the voids that meant vampire. They weren't next door but they were close. There were humans too. Not many and they did not seem to actually live here. They came and they left. Sookie could only capture snippets of thought. She could tell that the owners had only recently returned. She could tell that the woman, Lydia, who sat with her and spoke with her, was also a visitor here. She could tell that there were weres who did live here. Some of the patterns seemed familiar somehow.

Every day things had become a little better for her. Sookie found herself feeling stronger. She could pull herself up now and handle the utensils that came with her trays of food. She had noticed that nothing she was served needed to be cut. That was good because her trays never included knives. When Sookie had made that connection, she had felt a grim smile overtake her face. Seems someone knew something about her.

Thalia had come to visit her at first. Once Sookie had demonstrated she wasn't going to die right away, the small vampire had become a less frequent presence at her bedside. Sookie wondered if her own inability to talk much had driven Thalia away. For some reason, she couldn't bring herself to ask.

She could tell by the slanting light through the windows at the foot of the bed that it would be dark soon. Lydia had been with her earlier and they had talked about Sookie's improving anxiety and general health. Sookie had assured the older woman that she had no intention of ending her own life. Sookie wasn't sure when she had made that decision, but when she said it; she had realized it was so.

Soon the guard/nurse would come with her dinner tray. She would have company through the evening. There would be an opportunity to read. There were several novels on the table beside her bed. In past, she would have preferred stories of romance and adventure and fated love. But the thought of reading about that kind of happiness filled her with an overwhelming feeling of despair. The despair always seemed to be followed by guilt.

Sookie knew now that Sam had never loved her. It had been like scales falling from her eyes. The way he looked at her; the way he held her at night. All of it had been a lie. The worst part was that the largest part of the lie was not what Sam had said to her; the largest part of the lie had been what she had said to herself. Every demand Sam had made; every wedge he had driven between herself and everyone she loved; Sookie knew she had helped him as sure as she had done each of those things all on her own. When she thought about all she'd lost she was so angry with herself she wondered if it was an endless well or if she would finally find an end.

It was in this state that Bill Compton found her. He had been following her progress. There was simply no way in a household of this size that the identity of the guest in the carriage house would go unreported.

Bill had found himself on Russell and Bartlett's doorstep shortly after Sookie's marriage. Sam had made Bill aware how the continued presence of the vampire right across from their house was making Sookie uncomfortable. Sam had been quite explicit in his remarks, and direct in his request that Bill should find somewhere else to live, preferably far away. Bill had presented himself to Pam asking to be allowed to leave the area. Bill argued that the database was no longer the money maker it had been. There just were not that many new vampires and those that did exist seemed to have already purchased the directory. Of course Bill sold updates but demand seemed to shrink with every passing month. Bill told Pam he wanted to try his hand at writing and felt he would benefit from new landscapes to make that possible. Pam had passed the petition to Felipe de Castro through Sandy Seacrest and the request had been approved.