Swimming to the Light (Southern Vampire Mystery)

Chapter 25 - Bearing Away

Sookie peeked out the curtains for the fifth time that morning. Jason and Michele were supposed to be arriving any minute. They weren't bringing their kids but Sookie didn't mind. Although she was becoming comfortable with the compound and its personnel she still didn't think that it was really child friendly. For one thing, Thalia was resting in the next room. It wasn't like anyone could really wake a resting vampire, Sookie just worried that there could be a lot of questions that didn't need to be asked or answered if someone's small hands couldn't stay off the knob of the mystery door.

When the driveway was just as empty as the last time she looked she walked back and forth a couple of times. She shook her head at her own foolishness. 'Just like a kid wondering if we're there yet,' she giggled to herself. She glanced over at the book Bill had left her, picked it up and wandered out to the enclosed porch. Sookie settled into one of the rocking chairs. 'Maybe I should read it. Not like I have many friends who write books,' she thought. She studied the cover art. The brown haired vampire's shirt was open showing cut and well defined muscles. 'Sure don't look like Bill,' she thought, giggling again. She flipped open the first pages and stared at the dedication. 'Still, it's nice that he dedicated it to me. He was always teasing about how much I liked romance novels. Now I have one that's got my name in it. Or at least my initials.' Those happier, simpler days in Bon Temps sometimes seemed like a million years ago.

Sookie leaned back and thought about her phone call with Lydia earlier.

The night she'd asked Bill to leave; the night she'd seen the picture of Eric in Oklahoma, Sookie had lain in bed tossing and turning. She knew that Thalia was right. She needed to find her trust for Eric. But somehow her doubts kept creeping into her mind. She would think of the times Eric would ask her to be with him. Then she would think about how he had hidden Freyda from her. After a few hours Thalia had opened her door.

"You are making so much noise you are making me restless, human." Then Thalia had walked into the living room leaving the light to pour over Sookie's bed. Sookie had wrapped herself in her bathrobe and wandered out. She sat in one of the armchairs and Thalia sat down opposite her. Sookie raised her eyes to meet the vampire's unblinking ones. "You doubt him," Thalia said. "You doubt him because you doubt yourself. The steel you must find is within you but you are working against it. This is beyond me to repair."

Sookie found herself nodding. "I'm calling Lydia in the morning." Then Thalia had reached across and taken Sookie's hand. Sookie was startled and deeply touched. She bit her lip a little and found a smile. "And don't call me human!" Thalia had laughed then, a full throaty laugh. They sat together for a while longer and when Sookie had gone back to bed she had found a dreamless sleep.

Sookie and Lydia spent over two hours on the phone that first morning. They had talked for at least an hour every morning since. Sookie felt just hearing the healer's voice was bringing back all her progress and resolve. Lydia had told her that she would likely fight with trust issues her whole life. "Most of us find that we are disappointed at some time in our lives. It is the size of the betrayal and our ability to absorb it that dictates how long and how hard each struggle becomes." Lydia told her that Eric was probably not the root of Sookie's inability to trust. "I suspect you have observed how people say one thing and do another all your life. That fed you a constant stream of doubt about the people around you. But I think the good news is that you have also shown remarkable resiliency in how you have absorbed and handled it. Knowing this about yourself will help you to catch when it's happening and identify it instead of just reacting."

This morning they had been talking about Eric, "Tell me about the worst time you remember; a time when things were supposed to be good between you and your Viking but you found your trust was tested ," Lydia had instructed.