Open Fields of Ohio

12 ••• Can I Please Have This Right Now?

Walking to our room—room 104—I noticed Dawn taking casual deep breaths. And I knew she had something planned, and the fact that we both drank five whole wine glasses too much was overwhelming me.

And her touch on me was too hot for me to bear.

I wanted nothing more than to slam her against the wall and kiss until neither of us could breathe anymore.

"Why so nervous?" I whispered, I don't know why, but I whispered it. She shrugged.

"I'm not."

"Yeah you are. You're taking deep breaths and bitting your lip like candy. What's wrong?" She looked up at me and pushed the elevator button, walking in, she suddelny slammed me against the wall and kissed me.

I could hear someone say something like 'this is the fourth time' and another replied 'so what, Josh? Let 'em be'. I grinned at that, they walked out and left us the elevator.

Until we were on the third floor, we kissed and kissed, touched and touched, pushed and pulled.

And I knew what she wanted when her hands went further down on me than they needed to.

"Dawn," I whispered, opening our door room and slamming it shut. I slammed her, almost painfully, aginst the wall, pinning her there. "What is wrong?" She panted.

"Nothing. Nothing is wrong, okay? Kiss me, please." She implored. I almost did, but the look in her eyes made me stop. No. It wasn't lust. Or hunger. It was plead and pain. But why?

"When you tell, maybe I will ... maybe." She huffed, scolwed and pushed me away. Frustrated. And ... other things. She ran her hands over hair and sat on the edge of the tempting king-sized bed. "Dawn, baby, tell me what's up with you tonight." I said, kneeling before her, she cupped my face.

"Why do you love me, Tess?" She asked in a defeated tone. I stared, and smiled warmly at her.

"What do you mean, beautiful? There are countless reasons." She sighed.

"Don't foreplay me, Tess," she sighed with light annoyance and emptyness. "I tried that already, and now I'm sitting in the bed. Talking. Not anything else. Talking."

"Babe, listen to me, Dawn. Sleeping with me, no, not sleeping. I know you weren't going for just a one night stand, huh?" Dawn shook her head and looked down.

"Making love with you was more than my goal." She admitted.

"I know, I would've gone for that, too." I smiled at her. "So, my point being, Dawn: the first time I ever saw you. I was mesmerized. A girl like you with so much hate and anger. I wanted to wrap your arms around me and hug you forever. You were stranger and I though about you, baby; all damn day and night.

And when you finally spoke and laughed to me I was like ...'this girl is perfect'. And, the most stupid thing is," I grabbed her ace between my hands so she could face me. "The stupid thing is: I still think your perfect. You have me around your fingers like string.

You don't have to make me yours, or have me take you, so you can prove me, or I you, that I am completely and catastrophically in total and complete love with you." She sobbed, but was grinning weakly to him. "And, baby, do I want you. But, you remember wen I told you almost slept with my ex, right?" Dawn frowned in thought.

"Oh." She said finally. "Oh, yeah, you said she wasn't the one. That's why you didn't take her." I smiled.

"And, I also broke up with her. And I don't want to do this with you—at least, not yet. Because you are the one. Your are my one. And, I won't do this with you. But I won't break up with you, either. Because you are who you are."

"Wait until marrige?" She asked, curioulsy, not boringly. "Both of us."

"Together." I sweared. Lifting her up in bridal style, I laid us both in bed and pulled her against me. "Being kind of wasted is weird." I said after a few minutes of fine silence. She looked up at me and asked:

"You feel too, too light?" She asked.

"Too, too light." I agreed. Then grinned.

"I feel stupid, you know?" She admitted. "Wanting to take you just like that," she snapped her fingers twice. I kissed her cheek silly, and said against her:

"Aw, don't feel like that. I still love you more than I did five minutes ago, if possible." She hummed.

"I think it's possible."

The whole night, we lay there, talking and humming and sleeping together. But only that. Because I love her: I keep her untouched. Beause I need her: I keep from wanting her. And was who we were. And until tonight: we both didn't know how much we had to learn that. Because waiting sucks.

Trust me, it hurts, too. Like hell.

Trust.

Me.

But if I wanted forever with her, I couldn't waste a moment with her.

There. Were you expecting that? I wasn't. Really. For real! I'm writing, but I'm also spaced, so I don't know what I'm writing until it's typed up. So this was surprise for me and you guys.

I love you. Learn from Tess, please. AND IF NOT? Think about that, sweetheart. Because YOU and only YOU, babe: are worth it.

-Skyler_Dawn💌