Between Survival & Giving Up

Meet Ciara

Ciara's POV

Today is November 5, 2013, my birthday I will be twelve years old, and my mom is planning on taking me to my grandmother's house today also. However, what I really can't wait for my birthday is to go celebrate it cause my birthday in particular is very special, for I am the miracle child of my mom's family. When I was born my mother said that there was many moments where I could have died because of SIDs the Sudden Infant Death problem that goes on a lot. My mother had also said that, for if I wasn't born her life would be very different she probably would still be making the wrong choices behind her mother's back and making her family look bad. Although, when my mom did have me she became an adult, and a very responsible one indeed and I am most of all very proud to call her my mother.

Today at school it is Career day where we either dress up as what we want to be when we ourselves become adults or just dress up even if you don't know what you want to be. So, being that there are so many things that I want to be when I grow up I just put my fifth grade graduation dress on, surprised that it still fits just right and make a little clothing pin with all the names of the careers that I am interested in on it. I then give my parents their kisses and goodbyes before heading to the bus.

I make it to the bus stop just as my bus driver come speeding down the hill like always. I get on the bus to find all my friends looking all dressed up and fancy for our first Career day of the year. My friend Jillian is wearing a turquoise dress with a sky blue vial wrapped around her shoulders, and my middle school crush Brandon is dressed in a white-T and vest with some regular gray jeans, and some black and white Converse shoes. I give them both a nod and a smile before sitting down, and I then tell Jillian that today is my birthday. And, like Jilliann with her big mouth she yells on the bus telling everyone to sing happy birthday to me everyone turns in their seats to see me with my head in my hands embarrassed by Jillian as everyone breaks into song. Not long after everyone finishes the first verse does our bus driver Mr. Brown tell everyone the bus rule of no singing, Mr. Brown also tells Jillian to stay on the bus after everyone gets off at the school. Everyone laughs and I turn and stick my tongue out at Jillian as if I was a toddler telling on my older sister watching her get in trouble. We reached the school and as everyone got off the bus I felt someone reaching for my arm and I quickly turned around to find Brandon standing behind me looking a little too happy for a Monday, if you ask me. So I decided that there must be something he had to tell me , so trying my best not to go and act super weird in front of my crush I put on my most serious face and asked him, "Yeah? What do you want Brandon?", at first he just stood there surprised, yet looking me up and down like a lion looking at a zebra. So, after waiting awhile for him to talk, and him saying nothing I turned to start walking again when he finally started to talk.

"Wait, wait. Ciara look I'm sorry I didn't mean to stare at you like that.", the first thought was how my name came out his mouth so foreign, it made it sound like something new. I waited for him to continue, "Okay so look some of my friends were talking to me, and they think that you are really cute, but in my opinion I don't think your cute at all.",

"Excuse me, who says something like that to a girl on her birthday of all days you just hurt my feelings leave me alone." I said feeling my heart break into tiny pieces.

"No I won't leave you alone you didn't let me finish I was going to say, I don't think your cute at all, but instead beautiful.", as he said those words I felt my heart come back together and grow wings. I give him a look of disbelief to keep myself from smiling.

Brandon just stared at me for awhile a suppose he was trying to get some type of reaction from me, but I just did my best from smiling by thinking of all the times he got on my nerves in class. Jillian finally comes hopping of the bus giving the bus driver a annoyed look and slipping her arm through mine as we hop linked arms to our first class. I look back once to see Brandon laughing at how ridiculous I know we look our dress catching the air looking like umbrellas. I quickly stop and bust into laughter and whisper to Jillian why I was laughing and she laughs too, we both look back at the same time to see Brandon walking up to me with a piece of paper in his hand. I try not to look at it too much although Jillian clearly sees it, because she lightly shakes my arm whispering that he's gonna make the first move in asking me to be his girlfriend. Surprisingly he doesn't just give it to me he hugs me and tells me to have a good day while his hand goes to mine and wraps it around the note. I nearly fall to his touch around me, and because Brandon is somewhat taller than me it is kinda weird feeling his neck so close to my face. As Brandon walked down the hall to his class which was right next door to me, and Jillians. I stood there in shock as my friend Jillian came over to me eyes big smiling hard. Jillian punched me on my arm to get me to come back from the crazy thoughts that were running through my head at the moment. One I can't believe he really hugged me, two he really smiled and at me. He even touched my hand.

The rest of the day I felt like I wasn't even at school but dreaming all day, so being that I wasn't paying any attention to my teachers I got in trouble. However, I didn't care because I couldn't wait till I got to sixth period, because in sixth period I get to see Brandon. Then it hit me, I never read the note. I quickly go through my things trying to remember where the note went, and then I see it fall out my bookbag in slow motion, the same way a girl looks when her pad falls out her bookbag in front of the class. I grab the note and look around to make sure no one saw me before meeting Jillian's eyes, and slightly waving the note towards her. She understands what that I need her to come with me to the bathroom so I can read it without being caught by the evil fat lady of a teacher, Mrs. Fuller, surprisingly she is married. I raise my hand to go to the restroom, and when Mrs. Fuller says yes and as I leave the room Jillian comes about ten feet behind me skipping to catch up. We reach the bathroom, and Jillian as always jumps to the top of the bathroom sink counter I sit next to her, and then I start unfolding the note.