Finding The Courage (a Ziam Mayne AU)

Chapter Eight "Scared"

Zayn's POV

I myself didn't own a car but I had the permission to use my Mum's. We got in the car and I started the engine, sighing.

"Are you hungry?", I asked. "We could stop by at McDonald's or something."

He shook his head. "No. I'm good."

I looked over at him. He seemed so tense. Did I do something wrong? This was unusual for him, sure. Being brought home by someone he'd previously slept with, as opposed to leaving while they're still sleeping.

But that wasn't it. "You alright?", I asked.

He gave me an evidently forced smile and placed his hand over mine on the gearshift lever. "I'm okay. Don't worry."

I was so torn. On the one hand, Liam Payne was a player who clearly separated every single emotion from any kind of intimacy and he had obviously been avoiding being too intimate with me in the past hours, which he usually hadn't cared about at all. But on the other hand, every now and again he had been so gentle and soft towards me that I felt like he wasn't just playing around.

It took us a bit longer than I'd hoped to get to Liam's and Harry's flat because I was scared of driving too fast in the rain.

"We don't need the umbrella.", he said, as I pulled my sister's bright pink HelloKitty umbrella out from under the backseat.

"Yes, we do.", I retorted. "Otherwise I wouldn't have had to drive you here, because you would be just as wet."

I opened the umbrella and we hurried through the garden to his front door. He pulled out his keys and opened the door, throwing his rucksack into the corridor.

"Okay...", I said unnecessarily slowly and took a step back. "So, goodbye, then. Guess, I'll see you on Monday."

"Yeah.", he said, just as carefully as I had. "Bye."

I turned on my heel and rushed back to the car.

Maybe... I could have... What if I'd given him a kiss goodbye...?

Liam's POV

I closed the door, hesitating for a second. "I should've kissed him goodbye...", I mumbled, immediately regretting not having done it.

I heard the car door shut and sighed. It was too late now anyways. Seconds later someone knocked on the door and I opened, wondering who that could be.

Zayn stood in front of me again, slightly out of breath, his shirt soaking wet, his black hair sticking to his face like leeches. "Forgot something.", he mumbled, pulled me closer towards him and lightly pecked me on the lips. "Bye.", he said and sprinted back to his car.

I stared at him, taken by surprised, as he rolled out of the driveway and disappeared. A smile crept onto my lips and I shut the door, a pleasant warmth filling my body. And then, the tears filled my eyes and blurred my vision.

"Where've you been?", Harry mumbled, his mouth full of toast, when I entered the kitchen.

"At Zayn's." I hoped desperately for him not to notice me crying.

He smiled slightly, still very focused on his toast. "Good. I'd almost thought you'd still been with Leanne - that would've gotten me worried. How is he, then?"

"Fine. I guess.", my voice broke as I was saying that and Harry's eyes shot up at me in concern.

He immediately got up and walked towards me, taking my hand and pulling me to the couch. "Oh god, Liam. What happened?"

I couldn't talk. The tears streamed down my cheeks like waterfalls and my body felt so week all of a sudden.

Harry gently patted my back, patiently waiting for me to calm down. I let my head fall against his chest and hooked my fingers into his shirt.

"What's wrong?", he said quietly, when I'd stopped sobbing.

I took a long, deep breath before speaking: "I went to Leanne's Friday night. Next morning, I went to Zayn's house and we spent the day together but something was weird..." I paused.

"Was it something he did?", Harry asked.

"No. Yes. Kind of..." I shook my head. "We...had sex last night."

Harry's eyes widened. "What? I didn't think of Zayn as the one night stand kind if guy."

"He isn't. That's just it. It wasn't a one night stand. I stayed. I didn't want it to be a one night stand."

I could see Harry wanted to be happy about the possibility of me and Zayn getting together but at the same time he knew what I was going to say next.

"I think... I think I really like him, Harry.", I said, the tears flowing up again. "I think I am falling for him. I am so scared I'm falling for him."

"Liam, you know Zayn. He wouldn't-"

"I don't care. I don't care!" I buried my face in the palm of my hands. "I am so scared, Harry."