The Torment

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Rebecca awoke on Monday morning expecting Amanda to be next to her. Rolling over, she remembered what happened the day before. Their argument and Amanda's tears replay in her mind until she can't breathe. She tightly closes her eyes, wanting more than anything else to be sleeping next to her again.

After about a half hour of lying there like this, she decided to get out of bed and begin getting ready for school. She looked down at her body with surprise. Rebecca barely remembered starting again, but the fresh marks on her thighs, stomach, and arms were unmistakable. She slowly pulled on a pair of jeans and a loose long-sleeved sweater. The denim stung her thighs.

Wincing slightly, Rebecca began to make her way to the kitchen to eat breakfast. Luckily, Amanda always left an hour early. She sat down and ate some cereal while drinking her coffee. She ate quicker than normal that morning, because she couldn't stand staying in the apartment with all of its memories any longer than she had to. The second she was done with her breakfast she practically ran out to her car and was on her way to school.

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"Hey, dyke! Where's your bed buddy, huh?" Said one of the many conservatives at the school, "I'm talking to you! Don't you dare walk away from me!"

Rebecca walked away quickly with her head down. If I can just get to class, she thought, They can't hurt me. She clutched her books tighter to her chest.

"Are you deaf, too? I know you can hear me, faggot!" He called out to her. His jeers continued as she walked down the hallway. She could see the light spilling out into the dim hallway from her classroom.

As she was walking, a foot shot out into her path before she could move to avoid it. Next thing she knew, she was sprawled out on the floor, with her books strewn across the hall. Rebecca slowly got up and collected her things with tears forming in her eyes. She went through the same routine every day she went to school, and normally it didn't get to her. Normally, she would come up with a clever retort, but with everything that had happened the day before, it was too much.

Rebecca froze. She realized that Amanda had to go through this on her own for the first time since they started college together. Rebecca had always been there to protect Amanda from all of their homophobic peers. She practically ran down the hall to Amanda's classroom to make sure she got there safely. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that she was sitting in her usual seat with her face turned toward the front of the room, which was opposite the doorway. Then the realization hit her like a tidal wave. She doesn't need me, Rebecca thought to herself, She can handle this on her own. Rebecca then walked sadly back the way she came and sat at her usual seat in the back of her first period class. What she couldn't see was that Amanda did need her, because she had been crying silent tears since the time she woke up that morning.



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