Our Love Was Made For Movie Screens

The Heartache

It's been a month since the girls' breakup. Amanda has been trying to move on while Rebecca has been desperately trying to get her back. No matter what Rebecca does, it never seems to be enough to convince her to come back. Today was going to be the last attempt. If it didn't work, she was done trying to get her back. If this didn't work, she was finally giving up.

Rebecca was going to work and she knew that Amanda would be home a little bit after she left. They were never home at the same time during the day anymore. The only reason they were both home at night was because they needed to sleep, but it was obvious that Rebecca hadn't been doing much sleeping lately because of the dark purple circles under her eyes. She couldn't fall asleep without Amanda next to her, and on the rare occasions when she did, she was awakened by nightmares and spent the rest of the night listening to Amanda's steady breathing through the thin walls of their apartment.

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It's around 5:30 when Amanda gets home. She has been spending a lot of time at the library in order to avoid being around Rebecca as much as possible. As always, she hung up her coat, took off her shoes, and slowly made her way to the kitchen to eat dinner on her own. As she went past the living room, however, something caught her eye. She walked over to it and saw that it was a C.D. lying on the coffee table in the center of the room.

A wave of frustration rolls over Amanda as she picks it up and begins to put it on the shelf with all the other C.D.s. She never could put anything away, she thought to herself. But as she reached out her hand, she noticed something written on the case. It read, For Amanda, My Only Love. Amanda froze. She knew what would be on the C.D., but she couldn't stop herself from walking over to the D.V.D. player and putting the disk in. She sat down on the couch as the familiar melody floated through the air to where she was sitting. She recognized the song from the first chord and clasped her hand over her mouth and tried to contain her sobs.

The song was the acoustic version of Siberia by Lights. It was the song that brought them together. They had spent countless hours singing this song together, Amanda being the female part and Rebecca as the male. The bittersweet memories hit her like a ton of bricks. She sang along softly, struggling to hold back her tears. She somehow made it through the song without losing control.

The next song, however, cut her much deeper. It was I Will Follow You Into The Dark by Death Cab for Cutie. This was a song that Amanda knew Rebecca saved for people that were very special to her. She heard the beginning and fell to the floor in a fit of sobs. After about a minute of crying, she slowly got back onto the couch and sang through her tears with all of her heart.

After the song ended, she took out the C.D. because she couldn't handle any more. She wrote a note in shaky handwriting to leave for Rebecca and then made her way back to her room.

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Rebecca gets home around 9 that night. The second she walks in the door, she sees a white sticky note on the shelf where she always puts her keys when she gets home. She picks it up and reads it, even though she already knows what it will say. She slowly reads the note with each word breaking her heart a little more.

I can't be with you. I know that's what you want, but I can't do that to myself. I can't be hurt like that again. I know you say that you'll try harder, but I can't know that. I just can't do it again. I'm sorry.

-Amanda

Rebecca breaks down. She realizes that the woman she loves more than anything in the world is now too far gone to get her back. She begins to cry silently as she walks to the bathroom with the note in hand. Once she gets to there, she shakily writes out her reply.

So am I.