Waiting

God Damn It Sungjoo

There were bad days.

Bad days are when Sungjoo goes to the bakery Yixuan works at, sits in the cozy corner table, and stays there the whole day drinking whatever Yixuan recommends. Bad days come most often, Sungjoo feels bad for Yixuan since the other has to deal with him, but he didn't want to be alone.

It was a small coffee shop, there weren't many workers and the wall didn't have anything fancy but the different shades of brown. Sungjoo thought it was cute and he always felt better when he was inside. It wasn't silent, there was the constant sound of brewing coffee and small talk to keep him company.

As most days passed since Yibo left, Sungjoo would remember something the younger did, and all the things the younger never complained about but should have. Sure he handled them better as days went on, he started going out of the house again and talking to people. Sadness was still present, but now he was able to mask it.

He remembered all the days Yibo wouldn't eat breakfast because he slept in. He remembered he slept in because he stayed up late playing league. He stayed up playing because Sungjoo asked him too.

"The boy could've been sleep deprived because of me" Sungjoo leaned forward over the edge of the table, grumbling to himself.

Sungjoo remembered when he asked Yibo to enter the talent show with him. He never complained but Sungjoo was starting to realize all the discomfort Yibo had. He wouldn't talk at all and followed everything Sungjoo said, he never argued and never teased Sungjoo when he messed up. It was so un-Yibo like at the time. Luckily enough, they weren't able to perform that day, Sungjoo got sick and his mother wouldn't let him go out. He wondered what Yibo would have done if Sungjoo wasn't sick.

"He didn't say no, though, he didn't want to do it, though, he never complained, though, he was okay with it, though, but he wasn't though" He grumbled more and felt a hand on his shoulder.

He looked up from the pretzel of his arms to see Yixuan's sympathetic look, Yixuan always had that face when he looks at Sungjoo. Sungjoo was staring to think that was his actual face.

"You said too many 'though's"

Sungjoo laughed halfheartedly and straightened his back against the chair, managing to crack his spine in a few places.

There have been good days, but they were rare.

These were days when Yixuan was free and able to cheer Sungjoo up. He was such a great friend Sungjoo knew that he owed a lot.

He owed him back for the time they went to the amusement park, from all the times they went to the mall when Yixuan brought food to his house because he knew Sungjoo was just sulking in his room. There was a lot more and Yixuan always said it was fine. Sungjoo had been believing it up until now.

There have been normal days too.

Days where Sungjoo tolerates Yibo not being there. Where he's aware Yibo is gone but no bad memories come. On those days, it's usually when Yixuan has work and he doesn't have money to pay for anything. He feels awkward to just sit there even though Yixuan said it would be fine. When he has a normal day he's usually too busy to think about anything.

He started college not that long ago, but for him, it feels like he's been there his whole life. On normal days, he catches up in all his assignments while being late because he slept in, on those days he skips meals and he's only able to think about food during his free time. Sungjoo likes normal days, he would choose to have a normal day over the one he was having so far.

He looked across the table, Yixuan was sitting there now. He was still in his working apron.

"You're on your break?" Sungjoo tilted his head. It was always better talking to Yixuan, but he knew he wasn't able to keep him up the whole time. "You probably want to talk to..." Sungjoo looked behind him towards the counter and spotted the familiar face. He smiled when he saw the young man, he thought that the other was adorable, the way he always waited for Yixuan.