Collection of My Poetry

So I Say I Hallucinate

Sometimes I say I'm crazy, that I hallucinate.
When those shadows flit around my eyes
I'd rather say this lie.
The reason why is really no surprise
Because I know what it means
And they've done their job.
These demons, they've infiltrated my dreams;
They've got me going crazy;
They've got me afraid.

We're so comfortable.
We sit here in our disbelief
And deny that such things can be.
We sit here in our fear and our pride
And I rock myself back and forth at night.
I rock and I rock and I rock and I cry
I cry out to God
I cry out: God you are almighty,
God you are wonderful,
God you are loving,
God you are my savior
Jesus, oh Jesus Christ,
YOU ARE MY SAVIOUR

And it keeps them at bay,
For a time they stay away,
But they know my name
And they play their game
And somehow, somehow,
They use my pain against me
Despite all the times I've apologized.
Despite all the times I'm fortified
They flit and they fly on into my mind on wings that glide.

So I say I hallucinate,
You'd say it too if you knew.
If you knew everything you fear
Was pounding on the door

But stay strong, stand tall,
The Lord our God has hold of the hill
We just have to let Him fight
We just have to stand at His side
Long into the night we stand
And we must not doubt His light

But these shadows have covered my eyes
And I'm so sorry
But I fear these hallucinations
Have gotten inside my mind again
And the twist and they fight
Until will of what is right
Has long been dead

Instead of swatting down their promptings
And looking to the only true King
My mental innocence is spent
As I lie here in waking nightmares on my bed

My mind writhes within itself
Trying so desperately to finally sleep
In the hope that the land of dreams
Will put these corrupted themes
Finally, at an end

But that doesn't work
And as my heart starts to hurt
I'll return to my God once again
And I'll beg to be rid of my sin
And I'll beg to be rid of my hallucinogens

But I know myself to well
And they know my steps before I fell
And although I return now
To my Lord's forgiving love
And I strive to set my sights above
They'll linger at the edges
They'll peep over my fences
And just as I relax in comfort
Just as my curiosity peaks
Over the fence they will come
In one fell leap

But I will stand by my Father's side
And I will hold fast to His Word
That I may remain in life
That I may learn to serve