On The Run

Twenty One

At this point, I can't even keep my head up. I'm sagging almost to a point where I'm off the chair. The only thing keeping me up are the restraints. They are biting into my skin, pinching me, but I can't even concentrate on it.

I looked at it earlier and almost threw up, it was horrific. The skin, raw, bubbling up as if I had stuck my wrists in boiling water. Dry blood down my arms, and I can't stand to look at it. So no matter how much it hurts, I will ignore it.

My head is screaming, I can't even open my eyes anymore. The water is to my ankles and the pain is unreal. He turned off the lights again, and I'm left to my own thoughts.

I know I can't think this way, but it's inevitable that he will kill me eventually. I don't think he knows how much this is slowly bringing me to my end. It's getting hard to breath. It has been an hour since the last video, and the only way I am keeping track of time is by the shocks I am receiving.

I try to steady my breath but I can't breath normally anymore. It's like my lungs are full of cement, and every time I take the slightest breath, I wince. The pain in my chest is overwhelming. I just want to give up, but honestly, I don't know how.

It's getting really hot down here, and I don't know if it's because of the torture he's putting me through, or what. I am glad that I wore the shorts and tank top. I can tell the clothing I have on is drenched from sweat, and I just keep getting hotter. Maybe it's a fever.

Even though I am in the dark and can't see outside, I know it just started storming. I can here the thunder roaring through my box.

This was exactly how I met Ty. It was storming, I let him inside admiring his muscles through his soaking clothes. I guess I didn't even know it, but I was attracted to him even then.

I ignore the images of Ty. I need to forget about him, he can't help me, and I don't want him to get involved. I have to accept this, what I am going through now.

My life had ended that day... And a new one started. One where I was aware of how much I hated my parents. Where I got in touch with my love life, one where my love for my brother grew, also when I lost my innocence. I'm no longer arrogant. I know how messed up the world is, how messed up I can be. I learned about my murderous side, the side I never want to meet again.

And my life ended yesterday... Again. I am now in touch to my dying side. I have to think of the end. I have been trying to ignore it for a while now, but with my growing weakness, I can't ignore the inevitable. Even if Ty is looking for me, there is no way he can get to me at this point.

I am positive that the next time that light turns on, I will die.

Should I have gone to church more? Do I even believe in all of that? Is there a heaven, a hell? If there is, will I burn and fall? Will I be forgiven for killing for a man that kidnapped me? Will I be forgiven for betraying my parents? Lying to my brother?
Or will my death be empty? Will I die and become nothing?
It's a scary thought to think at 17. But I need to accept it now... It's coming, and it will be here before too long. And I am ready.

My wrists keep burning and I can't ignore it, I try to move them so they are no longer touching the metal, but as soon as I do I let out a loud scream as I feel the dead skin peel away at the fresh, bleeding flesh underneath it.

Whatever is in store for me when I die can't be much worse than this... This dark, secluded torture. I don't think I can stand another minute in here.

My eyes are crusted closed, my breathing still stressed, and the restraints have burned through my skin.

Maybe this is my hell. Maybe this is the end, and I am repenting. Or maybe I'm just being childish and this is only the beginning. I hope there is nothing after death... I'd feel too guilty going to heaven if there is one, and hell isn't a great option either.

At this point, emptiness seems best. But it's still terrifying. Knowing that my brother will never know... He will blame himself. That's just how he is, he thinks it's his job to protect me, and I can only hope that he can forgive himself, because he did nothing wrong.

I was the one that kept him in the dark when I was on the phone with him. I could have given him a sign that I was ok, something to give him relief, but now I am going back to die with the regret of my lies. He didn't deserve all of this.

In a way, I think I deserve what I'm going through right now. I have done so many things in the past few weeks that I should feel this pain. But I don't want to.

Amazingly, a tear escapes my airtight eye lids, and before I know it, I am wincing through sobs. Hoping to god the kidnapper doesn't have the pleasure of hearing my end.

I am biting the sore on my lip, I think it formed when I clench down as he shocked me, but right now, the pain amounts to nothing. I can't even take my concentration off of the ache in my muscles.

My hair sticks to my face from the sweat, usually I would pull it back, but I relish in the feeling, although it's uncomfortable, it's relieving to feel something other than pain. So I concentrate on it.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see something run, what the hell? It was too small to be a person, but it wasn't small either. It looked like a dog? No, not a dog, maybe a cat?

There! Again, it's furry, but it's too dark to see what color it is. My heart skips a beat, it hits the glass, snarling, it doesn't look like anything I've ever seen, but whatever it is wants to get in.

I can't scream, there's no one to scream to, no one to save me. I close my eyes hard, and block it out. When I open them, the creature is gone... Instead, there is a bright light shinning on my face, I'm getting so hot, I feel myself going out of consciousness. I open my eyes again and the light is gone, but I'm shaking, contorting, I'm not on control of my body. All of my muscles are tensing, and my hips are off my chair. Pain. Pain. Pain in my head, pain in my arms, pain in my legs. What the hell is happening to me?

I open my eyes again and my wrists are bending back, I don't know what this is, but I'm slipping through the restraints. My writhing is too much, not only for the chair, but for me. And I'm fading, the creature snarling out of the corner of my eye, the light fixed on me... I'm dying? It feels like I am having a seizure and the contortion of my limbs are letting me slip through.

Opening my eyes, I am greeted once again by the blinding light, the creature is sitting. It's no longer trying to kill me, but every time I blink, it moves. But the next thing I know I'm out. Out of the chair. Out of my death bed. Maybe it's because I am dead. I don't know what to think anymore! What is real?

It doesn't matter, because if I am free and if I'm not dead, the bastard will be back soon and I will kill him before being put back in that chair.

As I slowly try to lift my head off the wet ground, my body trembles. My writs and ankles are bleeding. Is it from the boils that formed from the torture? Or maybe the shaking episode I had? Whatever it is, I can't even feel it. All I feel is a dull ache... All over. Make it stop... Make it stop!

I hold my head, trying to shake off whatever this is. I feel insane, I am insane. I'm up now, standing up, swaying trying to keep my balance.

When did I get up? It doesn't matter. Out. Out, get out!

Im at the glass now. When did I take my first step? How? IT DOESNT MATTER, I need to keep a level head. The creature's stare is locked on me, and I know what it wants me to do. I look on the ground, and see the broken buckle that was used to restrain me. That man will pay.

I grab the ripped apart restraint and wrap it around my hand... Tight, so tight. And before I even think, I close my eyes and punch the glass.

Blood. So much blood. My bare feet walking through it... More crimson liquid trailing behind me.

My left hand touches the injured one, I stare at the ruby drops falling from my finger tips. I bring it to my lips. I look for the creature, but its gone. Its then that I realize I was hallucinating, my brain coming up with these things as I was having the seizure. But that doesn't matter.

I'm out. And I'm thirsty.