Eleanor Deyes: Zalfie's daughter

51- Please

I get back home from the longest day of school ever. I didn't talk to Louis since I was mobbed by everyone earlier this morning. 

I go inside the house but instead of going straight upstairs to my bedroom like I always do, I go to the living room.

Callum was watching TV, Dad was on his laptop and Mum was also on her laptop but was lying down with her head resting on Dad's stomach.

"Hey Mum, hey Dad!" I say.

"Hey Callum!" Callum says, sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"How was school?" Mum asks, sitting up and cuddling next to my dad.

"Ok, I guess." I say shrugging.

"I'm hungry. Is there anything to eat?" I ask.

"We ordered some pizza? But there are some fruits in the kitchen if you want?" Mum says.

"K." I say, walking towards the kitchen.

"Get me an apple while you're at it!" Mum yells.

"Okay!" I yell back.

I go to the kitchen and roll up the sleeves on my jacket and take two apples- one red and one green- and I wash them and go back. I give the red apple to my mum and I don't move because I got distracted by the cartoon Callum was watching.

"What are these?" Mum asks, grabbing my arm.

I instantly look down. Shit! I roll my sleeve down. "Um, nothing."I say, trying to walk away.

But she grips my arm harder than ever. "Eleanor!" Dad raises his voice.

"Why? Who on Earth gave you the stupid idea to do this?!" Mum yells.

I don't reply. I watch Callum slowly walk away upstairs to his room. 

"It was Joe wasn't it?!" Mum says.

"No, it wasn't." I stammer, holding back the tears.

"You're lying." Mum says, looking as if she was about to cry.

I still don't reply. "That's it. You're grounded. For a month. And you are never going to talk to Joe again!" She yells, her tears turning into rage.

"Mum, he's my uncle and your brother! You cannot do this!" I yell, tears escaping from my eyes.

"I do not care! You're not talking to him and you're not coming with us on Saturday. You're going to stay home and study for your exams. And you're going to give me your phone, tablet and laptop and you are not getting it back till the end of this month! Our decision is final!" She yells.

"Our?" Dad asks.

I cross my arms and wipe away the tears. "You can't do this." I say, softly.

"Yes, I can! Give me you're phone, now!" She says.

I open my bag and take my phone out; rivers flowing down my cheeks.

I hand it over. "Now go-" Mum stops, as she wipes away her tears.

"Eleanor, go to your room. I don't know what's gotten into you!" Dad says, covering up for Mum.

"Joe happened to her, Alfie, Joe happened. I don't know what on Earth I'm going to say to him!" Mum says.

I shake my head and run upstairs trying to blink back my tears but it didn't work. I slam the door shut and slam my back against the door, going down slowly until I'm hugging my knees. I cry and cry and cry.

Now Joe is going to get blamed because of me!

Great.

Things That Are Going Completely Wrong

1. Joe is going to get in trouble thanks to me

2. Louis probably hates me

3. My parents probably hate me

4. Joe is going to hate me once the internet goes crazy thanks to my loud voice

5. I won't even be able to see how the internet goes crazy

I pull myself together and proceed to the thinking position; on my bed, staring at the ceiling.

If this was me one day ago, I'd be taking another damn scissor and cutting myself on the other arm, considering my left hand was already full. 

But, I don't think I should. As much as I want to, I won't. Because my parents, or rather my dad, will come in here any minute to take my things away.

Maybe I should stop. But, its like a drug to me; I cannot stop. Now who am I going to talk to? 

I have no one. No Joe, no Louis, no Olivia, no Alex, no anyone. I hate being grounded. And I don't even have a phone to text or call anyone.

I hear a knock on the door and I don't reply. But who ever it was, came in anyways.

I turn my head and see that it was my mum. I just continue looking at the ceiling.

"El, I'm sorry for yelling at you, but I'm not taking back the part that you are grounded and never talking to Joe. So, Dad and I decided to take you to some sort of therapist." She says.

This is the part where I completely freak out. "Mum! You cannot just go and make me talk to some stranger about my personal life problems!" I yell.

"It's not like you're going to stop out of no where!" She says.

"Well, I'll try!" I yell.

"Okay. But if I see that you've started again-"

"Yeah. Okay. I won't I promise." I say.

She nods and walks out. I lock the door and practically celebrate.

She didn't take my laptop!

I take my laptop, moving all the books on top of it, and I sit on my bed.

I open Twitter and decide to tell Louis everything. About Joe, about me, everything.

I open a direct message and start typing. I send the whole story.

Louis, I'm really sorry for not talking to you for so long. Its just a lot has been going on. Don't tell anyone, but Joe broke up with Chloe and also started receiving some hate for some reason even I don't know of. Then, he started drinking and started doing self harm. He ended up in the hospital and he still is in the hospital now. The reason I missed our date was because I had to go to the hospital to see Joe. Honestly, my whole life is depressing. I have even started to hurt myself. So, please, please forgive me

Eleanor xxx

I take a picture of my arm and send it to him. This is as far as I can go to get my friendship back. I never, ever, ever write these long notes to send to people.

I hope he remembers that.