Rebel » m.c

1.4

I found myself getting out of bed. At 2:34 am. Sneaking to the living room to steal my mothers keys and sneaking out of the house. I got into the car and began driving. I had no clue where I was headed to but somewhere in my mind, I knew I had a destination.
Have you ever had that? Where you are doing something you don't notice yourself doing but you did it for a reason? That reason you get at the end once you've done what you did.
Well here I am. In front of the gates I've seen only once. I grab the bag I threw back and jumped the fences.
I stood in front of one of the empty walls with the spray paint in my hand trying to figure what I wanted to draw or write.

I had just gotten into an argument with my mom last night and ever since meeting Michael, he's made me realize some things. He made me realize how controlling my mom is and how I let her walk all over me.
Michael told me spray painting helped him release some things he's bottled up inside, and I've been up all night, beating myself up with the thoughts running through my head about the things my mom had told me last night and all the things Michael has said.

I drew a cloud of springs. Why? I don't know. Because I didn't know what I was feeling. I didn't know what was going through my head. But my anger made me draw a large X on top of it. I realized how fun this actually was and I creatively began drawing on the large cement.
"So I see you've taken my advice, eh." He walked up, his hands around each other with a smirk on his face.
"What are you doing here." My heavy breathing noticeable.
"Honey, I showed you this place." He walked my way.
"Leave me alone. I'm leaving." I dropped the spray can on the floor and grabbed my bag. I walked passed him but he only grabbed my arm and pulled me back.
"Why leave when I just got here." He smirked.
"Get off me !" I pushed him hard. He waddled back a little but quickly regained balance. "You think you could just touch me like how you did and just disappear again!"
"You wanted that. "
"You were the first guy I've ever let do something like that to me! That should mean something to you!"
It was one of those times where you just feel everything come out with out any control. Like stuff you've been wanting to say so bad and never had a chance to say. Like if this were my only chance.
"Do you know I got in trouble because of you" I poked his chest hard. " for 'behaving differently ' for stealing her car, and just for talking to you! Which I have no clue how she found out, but she did."
"It's not my fault you hopped onto my dick when you got the chance." He said calmly and smirked.
"You made the first move !"
"And you didn't tell me to stop!"
"And I didn't hop on your dick you douche. "
"But you wanted to."
"You stupid fuck tard! I hate you, you know that? You ruined my perfectly happy life." I pushed him again and he grabbed my hands tightly before I got him or something. I dropped to the floor and sat down.
"Oh your life was never perfect." He laughed.
"No but I thought it was and I wish it stayed that way."
"Someone had to break it to you." He shrugged.
"Why are you doing this? Why did you help me that one day in the first place?"  My hand dropped and slapped against my thigh.
He walked closer and kissed me.
"Because you were innocent and a prude. I had to change that" he winked and clicked his tongue.
I pushed him and slapped him across the face. Hard. Well the hardest I could of. I regretted noting at the moment but I know this is gonna kill me later. My hand felt numb with the cold air of the night and the hard impact that made my hand burn.
He aggressively grabbed the back of my neck with one hand the other close to raising up.
"Don't ever do that again." His voice was angry and evil. And he was so close I felt trapped but powerful for some reason.
"What are you gonna do huh? Hit me? Go for it!" I had no clue what I was saying. For all I knew, I was only making this worst for myself but it felt sooo good standing up for myself.
The angry expression on his face softened and so did his grip on my face. His hand dropped and he stood there.
After staring at me for a few seconds, he turned and walked away.
I was in shocked. I stared at his figure walk away and I saw him make a turn to the alley, I followed.
He was sitting against the cement wall his hands hiding his face and elbows on his knees.
I got on my knees and sat in front of him. I stayed silent though. I don't think there was anything for me to say.

"I, I almost hit you." He whispered. His voice cracked a tiny bit.
"But you didn't. I'm glad you didn't."
"I don't know what I would've done if I did hit you though." I grabbed his hands and took them off his face. He was on the verge of tears.
"Why is this hurting you so much? You didn't do it." I asked, rubbing my thumb on his hand.
"It all happened so long ago but it impacted me so much." He shook his head and swallowed.
"What did. Talk to me please." I practically whined. I didn't want to know because I was nosey though. I genuinely cared.
"I was abused terribly when I was younger, Rae. I didn't have a perfect life like you did. My dad was a huge drunk and practically almost killed me every time he drank. I don't want to be nothing like him."

CLIFFHANGER RIGHT HERE.
you guys. I want all of you guys to know I take stuff like this really serious and I know this is a common thing all around the world and I'm here for anyone.

But I hope you guys enjoyed this super long and meaningful chapter bc it will be really important in the next chapter and later on too (-:  and I apologize for this messy chapter. thank you love you guys (:  -m xx