(ON HOLD, READ BIO) I'll Be There For You.

4: This is it. (Part 2)

                We all sit quietly as the service starts. The church is filled with so many sorrowful people, so many friends, family, everyone in pain. I'm sitting in the front row with his immediate family, my mom, Haley, Julie, and Evelyn. All of the old band members are in the row behind us. Eve is sitting between Julie and I, and Haley is on my right. The speaker drones on, but I doubt any of us are focusing on it. I know I'm not.

                Evelyn squirms over into my lap, hiding her face in my chest. I wrap her up in a tight hug, Julie scooting over a seat and joining in the hug. Everyone gives pitiful looks at us; the little broken family. The preacher continues on with prayers and whatnot for what seems like hours. He finally goes quiet, and a few workers walk over, directing me and a few others to walk over to the casket. I let go of Evelyn, going over to the casket. I stare at him as the lid slowly closes on top of him. I want to tell them "don't close it yet!" or jump in the casket with him, but I know I can't. I take a handle on the casket and help carry it into the hearse. We slide the casket in and I walk back over to Evelyn and them. I don't see a single soul at this point not crying. Then again, its hard to see through these tears..

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                I don't know how I'm still sitting in this chair. I don't know how I haven't ran away, trying not to face the reality of him being lowered into the ground. Julie, Dahv's family, and a few others already went into their cars, not able to watch. Haley and Eve are hiding their faces into each other, strong enough not to leave but not strong enough to watch. I stare, and I watch. It's lowered farther and farther into the hole. I grab my corsage, ripping it off of my suit and walking over, letting it be the last thing to drop in the hole before dirt is shoveled over him. People walk away, knowing they can come see his grave all covered in flowers and bouquets a different day. Yeah, they see the pretty part of all this. They don't have to see him be buried, they didn't have to see him getting hit..

                I pick up Eve and walk back into the car that Julie's in. Haley sits in the passenger seat and I lay down in the back seat with Evelyn laying on top of me. We're both exhausted, fuck the rules. She starts to doze off on my chest, and I do the same as we drive back to the house.