(ON HOLD, READ BIO) I'll Be There For You.

6. Here We Go Again

(A.N) *** TRIGGER WARNING *** Sorry guys, if anyone is even still reading. I know you hate seeing characters suffer, but the suffering should end soon! Love you, byebye. ~Catherine

(EVELYN)

        I closed my journal and compulsively popped my knuckles. I usually did this when I was nervous, and I was certainly nervous now. Not that its even something new that I'm doing, I've done this more times than I should. Jayy and Haley left a few hours ago to go do something, so I have some time to myself before they get back. Listening to the house, it still seemed pretty silent. Good, that'll make this easier.. I got up off of my bed and slowly crept up to my door. I peeked out, checking if anyone was in or around the long corridor. Nope, nobody. Plus, the bathroom's unoccupied. Perfect. Picking up a pair of sweatpants next to me, I ran down and across the hall to our small bathroom, locking the door behind me. I set up the scene the usual way, to not make anybody suspicious if they did happen to walk by. My ipod was already in the dock, prepared from the night before. Lonely summer nights make this all the more easier.. 

        I set on a usual preset playlist, full of old singers like Michael Jackson and Cher. I loved my modern power anthems, don't get me wrong; but these classics helped calm down my mind more, making the damage less than what it could be. I turned on the shower, right as an acoustic version of one of my favorite songs played. The slow intro rang on, and I sat on the toilet, holding the small razor in my hands, dully humming along. 

"Skin head, dead head

Everybody gone bad"

        I make the first slash onto my thigh, thinking about all of the bullying. 

"Situation, aggravation

Everybody allegation"

        Everyone judges me, thinking they're so much better than me, calling me worthless. Hey, maybe everyone's right. A tear starts to fall down my cheek and I raise the razor up off of my skin.

"In the suite, on the news

Everybody dog food"

        It sickens, how the world can treat somebody so bad. First they take away my dad, then possibly my mom, and now my sanity? I go into the second cut, biting hard on my lip at the usual stinging.

"Bang bang, shot dead

Everybody's gone mad"

        I wish I could die. I wish I could leave and go live with my dad up in heaven, away from all of this. I make the cut deeper.

"All I wanna say is that

They don't really care about us"

        Nobody really cares. I know they say they do, but they're liars. Who am I kidding? Nobody's told me that they care. Everyone's make it really clear that I'm just a nuisance that's not going to go anywhere important in life. My vision starts to blur, from more than just tears. 

"All I wanna say is that

They don't really care about us"

        Pull it together, Evelyn. You know who cares? Haley. Haley cares, and she would be heartbroken. And what about Jayy? He lost his best friend that day, and he lived through the bullying and the losses. He didn't have a dad either, and you know he was bullied in school, maybe worse than you. Would you want to see his face if he lost you? He cares for you like his own flesh and bone. Live. If not for your own sake, for him..

        I cover the cut with a spare towel, trying to stop the flow before I lose too much blood. Wow, that was deeper than usual.. I get the flow to stop and I woozily reach under the sink, pulling out some gauze, wrapping it around my leg. "Guess the music couldn't help this time," I mutter to myself as I pull on the dark grey sweatpants. I heard the front door squeak from opening, and footsteps followed. I cursed internally, throwing the unclean razor back into its hiding spot and getting my hair wet under the running shower head. I pulled a towel around my head, rushing to hide any evidence of what I had just done. The bloody towel was hiding far back under the sink, and the razor was.. 

        Sitting in plain sight. Not in its hiding place. 

        There's a knock on the door and I freeze up. "Hey Eve, you decent?" Oh, its just Haley. I run over, grabbing the razor and setting it on the edge of the tub. "Just a second!" I unlock the door and run over to sit on the edge of the tub to hide it. But, I guess I missed and it was in plain sight.