Rants

4 life

Life... Life life life... Things that life throws at you, whether it was today or it's gonna happen tomorrow, life likes throwing things like a bouncy ball. But. Who says you can't cheat life? Think about the most embarrassing thing you've done. 

You thinking?

Ah, there it is. Now, when did it happen? Whether it was two seconds ago, a year ago, or it hasn't happened yet, it doesn't matter. Because it's not gonna matter in 10 years. Hell, it might now even matter tomorrow. I'm not sure if this is a good way to look at life or not, but it really doesn't matter what you do. (But let's be reasonable, don't go and get pregnant because I just said that, now.) 

What I'm saying is that, why live your life in fear? Live life with no regrets. You're born, you live, you die. (And then whatever happens after and stuff) But you have ONE chance, FULL of chances. Why tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon? As I was saying before, live life with no regrets; live crazy and have fun.

Speaking of life, there's a down to life, too.  Life can be so unfair sometimes that it makes me sick. We're all born just to one day die. In those years there can be so much. You meet people, you ditch people. You know someone well for a while, then after another while, you become better strangers than you were anything else. In a lifetime, there's happiness that turns into sadness. Satisfaction that turns into complete and utter pain. People love you, people leave you. 

Here's the thing.

What makes me the sickest is that half of the people I know now are just gonna be "oh yeah I remember him, what's his name again?" In the future. Things tomorrow are never gonna be the same as they were today. Remember the time you read that first line, "Life... Life life life..."  That was the past. That scares me. I think about this alot. Whenever I talk to someone, I just think... "Damn, I'm gonna miss you someday." Imagine when you're an adult. You have no way of finding your middle school friends, unless it's a miracle and you see them at public which is highly doubtful. The most important person you know right now...

I vaguely remember my best friend from years ago...

Ha. Funny how things are funny. It's not even funny though. It's not funny all. It's not funny that I'm not gonna know you later. It's not funny that you're might be nothing more than a stranger someday. and ya know something else? It took me a lot of thought to publish this chapter because it's hard for me to read this without wanting to curl up in a ball, ignoring the world. That's what happens when I think about stuff like this. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to wake up from this nightmare so called life. And yeah, I'm stating the worst possible outcome, and I'm being a serious pessimist right now. But I'm stating the worst thing that comes to my mind... So if you ever ask me what the worst thing I think about is? This. This is my worst fear, the scariest thing life can throw at me- above any horrible creature or person, losing the people I love is the worst thing I could ever imagine. So if you're reading this and you're one of my friends, or even if you're just a person passing by, seeing if this is a good book or not, I fucking love you and never want to lose you. 

Ha. That's funny. I can't let that happen now can I? Well, I aint letting it happen. 

Sincerely, Kat.