5 people
So yeah, I've gotta admit. It's been a long time since I've updated. In that long time, I've noticed many things, and enough time where my life has been changing. So yeah, I'm going into highschool and shit. I've felt so lonely lately. Sometimes I feel like it's me against the world. I feel like if I wasn't in this world, the world wouldn't have anything to go against. Fighting while smiling, dying while living, laughing while crying.... It's hard to explain. Yeah this is gonna sound draggy and shitty and just fucking horrible, but a lot of the time I act happy, I'm actually suffering. Suffering through what, you may ask? Well... People alone. I try to act like I don't give a shit, but in reality, I'm terrified. I'm terrified of everything. Not of dying. I'm scared of living, I'm scared of judgement, I'm scared of losing people I shouldn't care about. I'm scared of what my future will be. I'm scared of being in complete and utter darkness, no, not no light kinda darkness, but darkness where I have nobody. The kind of darkness that would make me feel lonely inside... The kind of darkness I feel right now. The kind of darkness where humanity doesn't make sense. Why make a creature that can judge and make other creatures feel horrible... And feel the darkness I feel right now. It's just occurred to me that I am a fake. Over time, I've always told myself that I am a no good nothing, but I am something. I am a fake. I am a no good fake. I will fucking walk around like nothing is wrong, meanwhile... Yeah. So here we go. The darkness that I p've always been afraid of has almost completely consumed me. It's consumed me enough that I'm actually writing this. This is the ugly truth. This is the real me and not the real me at the same time. This is the part of me that I never show to most people because... Why, again?
Exhibit A
This is how I know the cruel darkness is consuming me. I don't even know why I haven't told most people how I feel. Oh wait, reality hit.
BECAUSE PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD ARE STARVING. PEOPLE ARE LIVING ON THE STREET BEGGING FOR A DOLLAR OR AT LEAST A BOTTLE OF FUCKING WATER. HERE I AM COMPLAINING ABOUT SOCIETY BEING JUDGY WHILE PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD ARE ACTUALLY HAVING REAL PROBLEMS.
Oyoy. This is really hard to understand, and I'm pretty sure none of you guys will understand what I'm dealing with right now.
Sorry guys.
~Kat
YOU ARE READING
Rants
RandomAlrightyyy, so you've come this far to read the summary of this book.. this book of mystery and wonder and adventure and drama.. this is the book of my random rants. If you don't know me, by the time you stary reading this, you're gonna know me bett...
